ONM Remembered – #03
“Once Mary’s dead, sleep in Litz.”
from Official Nintendo Magazine issue 58 (July 1997)
(CONTINUED)
ONM Remembered – #01
“Sometimes you need to split up to get the job done.”
from Official Nintendo Magazine issue 104 (May 2001)
(CONTINUED)
My android’s head is an asshole!
I’ve actually watched a fair few movies in the past few months, but just haven’t had the interest or energy to review them – and also because who cares? (for those who do care, I aim to have one of those “Games I Played in 2012” articles by the end of the year and will cover TV and movies and books and whatnot, simply because I ain’t got nothing better to put on the website!)
I watched Prometheus last night, though, and figured I might as well waffle a bit to keep up with my reviews of the Alien quadrilogy (I just love how hilariously dumb that word is – I’d use it in every sentence if I could. Somebody stop me!). Spoilers ahoy.
(CONTINUED)
Dusty keys
We got ourselves a big ol’ Bomberman update; still not much in the way of groundbreaking new content, but personally, I’m just looking to spruce up the old content as best I can.
Well, I’ve had my new computer for about three weeks now. It took a while to settle in, no thanks to me clinging on to Windows XP for the longest time possible, but I’m adjusted nicely now. The machine cost less than the old one and has more hard drive space and memory than I know what to do with, so that’s a plus. Windows 7 isn’t too bad, but losing out on DOS functionality is a bummer, and the control panel is crazy unintuitive. I’m so used to having all my options laid out in front of me, rather than having to play Twenty Questions before I find what I want. Also, for whatever reason despite billing itself as a media centre, it doesn’t have a DVI port, so I can’t output my monitor onto my TV. Well why even bother playing PC games now?! I don’t play them to play them on a PC! >:V
I’m glad to have moved on, but I do miss it, though. Well, I don’t physically miss it – I want nothing to do with that unnecessarily huge piece of machinery clogging up an entire shelf – but I miss the DVI port that allowed TV-out display; I miss the operating system; and perhaps most of all, I miss the filth.
(CONTINUED)
An open letter to the spider on the washing line
You don’t need to put cobwebs on the clothes pegs. You don’t need to put any on my jeans, either. You don’t — look, no webs on the washing line, alright? It’s a good job you’re doing, and you seem like a really efficient worker, but it’s wasted out here. They’re mighty fine webs, but I don’t think any bugs are going to be interested in my pants. We could probably make an arrangement where I make my pants a bug paradise, and you could…
Look, just get a hobby.
Love, Mark.
(CONTINUED)
“Oohh, this is candy, I’m having fun!”
While up in the Donegore garden centre, I discovered alongside pastiches of the “keep calm and carry on” posters, sentimental tea towels and other kitsch, boxes of Lucky Charms were being sold.
(CONTINUED)
Drunken Irishman correctly predicts end of the world
Bomberman Fantasy Race has been ported to the new layout. Not much actually new, but you don’t have to look at that awful dark green tiled backdrop any more.
Watched The Birds. A few days ago I’d caught that episode of The Simpsons that parodies it with the babies in the daycare centre, and figured, hey, let’s check out the source material!
Melanie Daniels, entranced by a hotshot lawyer named Mitch that pesters her in a pet shop, seeks out his home to bask in his company for a while longer. Mitch lives with his mother and sister, and is apparently renowned for being a bit of a lady killer; the local school teacher lived far away once, but chose to stay to be in touch with him. Mitch’s mother worries not that her son will be with another woman, but fears of being abandoned with no one to love her. As such, Melanie earns her automatic scorn, but as time goes by, the two wind up warming up a little to each other, with the hope that eventually HEY HOLY SHIT BIRD ATTACK
“This is probably a stupid question, but do you hire real birds to make your chilli, or do you just get guys in costume?”
… I asked the canary wearing a chef’s hat.
Today’s observation: I have no idea what last night’s dream was all about. It involved going go-carting with my friends; being invited to a group of medieval knights living in the mountains (who called themselves the Nigerian Knights, but had surprisingly few Nigerians); a group of canaries making chilli as a tie-in promotion for the Super Mario Bros. movie; and an arcade game based off M*A*S*H, with Game Over screens featuring shocking amounts of blood and gore from the main characters.
Today’s epiphany: My dreams have better writing than my actual writing.
Update!
So, uh, I decided to go back to an unfinished project I started a little over four years ago. I sure hope somebody’s still interested in that stupid thing, otherwise I’ll have killed an afternoon for naught! (if anything, it’s better to have killed an afternoon for something you can still look at afterwards. You wouldn’t believe the evenings I’ve totally wasted in trying to complete campaigns of Left 4 Dead or Resident Evil 5 on the hardest difficulty)
Also, some sprites. That’s about it for the update.
