“Dropping the joypad after a minute and walking off exclaiming ‘What a steaming great dumper!’ will not do anything for Anglo-Nippon relations. Unless it’s Seta. They’re probably used to it.”
from N64 Magazine issue 11 (January 1998)
(CONTINUED)
“Some of the motion-capture is outstanding and some of the moves even appear to connect! Crikey, Hudson – with this fighting game you are really spoiling us.”
from N64 Magazine issue 17 (July 1998)
(CONTINUED)
“Reset Button: This button resets your N64 if, for instance, you’re fed up to the back teeth with the somewhat lengthy ‘congratulations’ sequence in Mario Kart 64.”
from The Nintendo 64 Companion (pack-in with N64 Magazine issue 11, January 1998)
(CONTINUED)
“Very, very fast at top speed, but you’ll never get Tommy there, as he’s so fat that his cornering and acceleration don’t exist in this universe. Sorry Tommy, we defend anyone’s right to eat burgers all day (or Ginster’s Chicken and Mushroom Slices, in our case), but to be honest, you’re useless.”
from N64 Magazine issue 14 (April 1998)
(CONTINUED)
“Try again? Oh, Aero Gauge, you are a wag.”
from N64 Magazine issue 17 (July 1998)
(CONTINUED)
“Even after artificially raising their hopes for a universal machine then releasing a late, overpriced, absurdly slower model and charging ludicrous sums for late, incompetently-converted games, such as, for example, Wave Race, Britain remains tenaciously eager! What could we possibly do next that’s more fun? Wait! I have it. We’ll delay the PAL Yoshi’s Island until 2002 and call it Hands Up! I Have A Gun – Put The Money In The Bag. Surely not even they will stand for that.”
from N64 Magazine issue 8 (November 1997)
(CONTINUED)
“Still, all the best games filch the best elements from films, and Mace’s character design is no exception. Well, at least they left the ‘Knights Who Say Nee’ out. Thankfully.”
from N64 Magazine issue 9 (December 1997)
(CONTINUED)
“Scott Norton was once mistaken for a beached whale, tranquilised and put into San Diego Zoo, only being discovered when the relevant authorities realised whales don’t speak English.”
from N64 Magazine issue 12 (February 1998)
(CONTINUED)
“I love Breetish laydeez.”
from N64 Magazine issue 23 (December 1998)
(CONTINUED)
“We’re not talking CDs here, which aren’t quite as tolerant of having strawberry jam slapped all over them as we might have been led to believe.”
from N64 Magazine issue 11 (January 1998)
(CONTINUED)
RETURN TO
RANDOM HOO HAAS
