Wow, I’m punctual for once in my life! I admit after 2015 (which should be finished sometime soon-ish) I realised I’m running out of opinions even I could be bothered reading, so I figured a blog post with a few lines for each game would be enough. If there’s a game I really need to waffle about in detail, I’ll probably find an outlet for it, but until then, read on!
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“Try again? Oh, Aero Gauge, you are a wag.”
from N64 Magazine issue 17 (July 1998)
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“The whole thing looks so fantastic that you can almost touch the dirt, smell the exhaust fumes and feel every bump.”
from Official Nintendo Magazine issue 95 (August 2000)
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“The car engines sound like vacuum cleaners, and there aren’t many other sounds aside from that.”
from Official Nintendo Magazine issue 88 (January 2000)
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“Even after artificially raising their hopes for a universal machine then releasing a late, overpriced, absurdly slower model and charging ludicrous sums for late, incompetently-converted games, such as, for example, Wave Race, Britain remains tenaciously eager! What could we possibly do next that’s more fun? Wait! I have it. We’ll delay the PAL Yoshi’s Island until 2002 and call it Hands Up! I Have A Gun – Put The Money In The Bag. Surely not even they will stand for that.”
from N64 Magazine issue 8 (November 1997)
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“If you drive off-road for more than three seconds, you get told off. Thanks, mum.”
from Official Nintendo Magazine issue 07 (September 2006)
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“Noddy counts the cash he’s made from the game spin-off of his cartoon!”
from Nintendo Pro issue 33 (2000)
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“Still, all the best games filch the best elements from films, and Mace’s character design is no exception. Well, at least they left the ‘Knights Who Say Nee’ out. Thankfully.”
from N64 Magazine issue 9 (December 1997)
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“But unlike the bizarre Oozumo, this doesn’t feature fat lard-ased, pony tailed, pampers wearing, slap-happy, hippo-like mountains (the kind that made Gazza’s mate Jimmy Five Bellies look like Twiggy).”
from N64 Pro issue 6 (April 1998)
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“Thankfully, what MK Mythologies lacks in graphics, sound, story and social credibility, it makes up for in playability. Only joking! The gameplay is as shit as everything else.”
from N64 Pro issue 6 (April 1998)
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RETURN TO
RANDOM HOO HAAS
