ONM Remembered – #293

Saturday, June 27, 2015 at 11:00 am Comments Off on ONM Remembered – #293

“After four days of breaking speed limits and watching awesome pile-ups, David remained the best boy racer.”

from Official Nintendo Magazine issue 123 (December 2002)

As I mentioned last week, the GameCube car was not some bizarre flaunting of ONM’s, Ninty’s and Max Power‘s money, but served as a contest (in association with Acclaim) where folks could win a bag of swag, including the latest BurnOut game!
To be frank, I’m disappointed for two reasons.

Reason 1: The contest did not actually involve the car. Come on, lads, you do not cram a games console into a four-cylinder-16-valve mean machine just for people to look at its boot! Challenge people to clear five levels of Super Monkey Ball while driving over cobblestones at 40 miles per hour – something, anything! I want to say “now that’d be a challenge!” but more likely it’d be a lawsuit in the making.

Reason 2: Man alive, is this some boring reporting. What did we miss? What all happened at this event? Sure, a few thousand lads played some time trials, but the photos on the second page paint a very different story…

… such as this morbid totem pole carved from the corpses of Mario’s friends and foes…

… and this bizarre worshipping ritual to Vodafone (?), which apparently involved pelvic thrusts and putting the Pilsbury Doughboy on a diet.

Like, kudos for the follow-up, ONM, but now I’m only left wondering what you’re not telling us.

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