Some games I played in 2024: Earthworm Jim 1 & 2
While sorting through comics I found my sole issue of the UK Earthworm Jim series, and was reminded of my uneven feelings for the franchise. The cartoon is the only part I ever truly clicked with — the two games I’d played were not exactly its shining hours in any way (Earthworm Jim 3D and the botched port of the first game on GBA), but I felt like there had to be something in this that resonated with me…! The first two games have since been added to Switch Online, and I felt compelled to give them as earnest a try as I could muster. Will they work for me this time? (before you start holding your breath, the answer is no)
Right off the bat, the game looks impressive. It’s so pretty looking! I can totally see why magazines of the day were raving about it — every animation, from Jim to the enemies to collectibles, is oozing in such detail and character, and the level art isn’t just incredible, it’s throwing the finger to the traditional tile-based left-to-right style of level design. They’re up and down and all around, going up slopes and climbing up ramps and going across pulleys and running to power weird diamond elevator things… this ain’t Sonic and this sure as heck ain’t Mario.
It hits strong with the first three levels, presenting some off-the-wall setpieces and unorthodox gimmickry to work with — blasting your gun to propel yourself across pulleys, running on crystal balls to raise them like elevators…
Not even boss fights are safe! The second duel strips you of your super suit, forcing you to hurdle over fireballs to get even with Evil the Cat, and not long after that you’re a duelling bungee jumper trying to sever Major Mucus’ cord against jagged rocks. You never get too comfortable in feeling like you’ve seen everything, it’s always throwing new nonsense your way whether you want it or not.
Unfortunately, the artistry to its weirdness gets in the way of being an enjoyable game. As marvellous as the levels look, it’s a bit of a dickens figuring out where you’re supposed to go. The wealth of gimmickry is fascinating on a technical level, but also a right pain in the arse to actually engage with, most evident in Down The Tubes — by the time I reached the bungee fight I threw in the towel and just used cheats to experience the rest of the game. (I’d played honestly up ’til that point — well, barring save states and rewinding and…)
One might be inclined to think of the games as run-and-guns, but the actual process of running or gunning never feels very satisfying. Your gun is fussy and imprecise comparing to your head-whip, and without visible projectiles or even the ability to move while firing, there isn’t the satisfaction of landing shots, you just have to pray it connects when you want it to. The whip is stronger but has such outrageous wind-up that you genuinely need the game memorised to figure out when to attack without getting hit yourself.
And though there is impressive interaction with the environment, be it clambering onto ledges or climbing up background elements, the whole running and jumping thing’s a bit of a load. Interacting with grappling hooks is a nightmare (not just because the visual clarity on them is atrocious), and any time it asks me to grapple multiple times in a row I’d sooner do something that’d get me on the news.
Earthworm Jim 2‘s core gameplay controls that bit better — the gun is more satisfying to wield, thanks in part to getting dumb power-ups far more frequently (the original seemingly only added power-ups in the Windows and SEGA CD Special Edition…?), and grappling is made far more forgiving by swapping the head-whip for Snott. If you see green gunk on the ceiling, you just press the button to latch on and swing. It’s a lot harder to miss and far more forgiving!
Its levels are even more abstract, if you can believe it, often featuring some degree of puzzle-solving or interactivity to proceed — carrying objects to their destination or placing weights on switches. It relies on its text pop-ups a lot more to guide you on what to do, which is unexpected for a game of this era. Kudos on being ahead of the curve, or shame on them for requiring such constant reminders in the first place?
I did nope out on this game way earlier because of it though — herding cows around to milking barns to open gates was just too tedious to consider, and especially after my first Peter Puppy intermission: basically Game & Watch Fire taken to the next level, only even more drawn-out and joyless. The best and worst thing I could say about Andy Asteroids is that it was a waste of time. You don’t want to hear what words I have for the sequel’s equivalent.
There’s a lot more variety in EWJ2, to the point where there’s little to no ‘normal’ gameplay. An isometric space shooter escort mission; traversing a perilous circus with an inflated head; swimming around as a blind cave salamander… like, they’re cute, they’ve got charming graphics, they probably look great as bullet-points in a magazine preview, but they’re also not terribly fun, challenging or compelling.
One stage has you burrowing your way through dirt with your blaster, which is totally a flex on the developers’ part, boasting destructible reshaping terrain and as convincing a simulation of soil sifting down slopes and through gaps 16-bit software can muster… but again, at no point did it feel like I was being engaged or having fun. It just goes on and on and on…!
It’s very telling that neither instalment actually credits anyone to game design, but instead “lots of Shiny meetings,” leading one to assume their method really was just throwing shit at the wall and seeing what stuck. There’s certainly ideas in there, and there was surely fun to be had figuring how these would work from the coders’ or artists’ perspective…
… but it’s contrary to what we typically expect out of games: let’s establish something before building and iterating upon it, the player learning new capabilities of this gimmick. Instead you see it for one level, it wears out its welcome, and you move on to the next weird thing. We’ve got a game show where the questions and answers are non-sequiturs! What do you mean you bought this to play as a superpowered worm?
The two games come across like they were made for ‘optics’ moreso than entertainment, so to speak. The graphics are hot shit and look great in magazine stills or video previews. The sheer variety of gimmickry and weird nonsense is practically a demo reel of what Shiny’s programmers are capable of — and no reviewer could say the game gets ‘samey’ with this much going on! And to counter players beating it in one rental, it’ll be hard as balls, this close to memorisation, and have you playing the same mini-game after every stage to draw out the playtime.
To its credit, there’s nothing else quite like it. They truly are unique specimens! No official sequel has ever hit quite the same strides, and though other works by Shiny and Doug TenNapel have similar vibes, I don’t think there’s been a game that’s truly set out to be a spiritual successor. I wanna say Mr. Bones is perhaps the closest, on account of its bizarre whirlwind of modes and mechanics, but I oughta play it first before saying such a thing…!
If nothing else, no other game I’ve played has truly made me think about the “games are meant to be fun” debate in such depth. Is that still an argument people have? I know it was trotted out a lot in the early “are games art” days, or in response to concept games or elements that are intentionally obtuse or ‘disrespectful’ to the player.
I don’t hold much water in it myself, mostly because applying labels cart-blanch isn’t my thing — fun is subjective, and there’s no criteria every game should hold itself to to be considered valid… but I will say “games are meant to be challenging” is a worthwhile counter-argument.
Ball-in-a-cup is a challenge! I assume there’s challenge in Solitaire…? One could argue the newfangled narrative-driven games are offering just enough challenge for players to feel satisfied in progressing to the next chunk of story; I’ve said a million times before how Alone in the Dark sticks with me because it’s a B-movie you gotta commit to slogging through, making every setpiece and dumb plot twist that little bit more meaningful.
Anyway, Earthworm Jim is built on novelty and surprise, innit. Not knowing what’s coming next, both in the broad sense (“a level made of paperwork?! Whodathunk!”) and in the nitty-gritty, having to accommodate your own twitch reactions to danger with Jim’s own sluggishness. You can’t get too comfortable because it will pull the rug out from under you and present you with a totally different game every few minutes.
It’s hard to clinically address what kind of challenge a game is going for without it sounding boring as piss, but the point I’m getting at is if you want a game to be a challenge first and foremost — an uphill battle, a mountain to conquer, whatever simile you prefer — then Earthworm Jim might be your thing.
I otherwise have great difficulty describing any part of it as “fun”. It looks fun, with all these quirky characters and whatnot! But the objectives, the controls, your reward for progression… none of it quite aligns with my idea of a good time. I will attest to being a fussy bastard, but I am validated in people finally having the confidence in recent years to say that the Earthworm Jim games are an acquired taste at best, and colourful strings of expletives at worst.
Perhaps my biggest takeaway from playing these games is how the cast is such a mixed bag. For every iconic villain who made a lasting impression on me in the cartoon, there’s five more nemeses who are just nondescript blobs. Major Mucus, Doc Duodenum, Pedro Pupa, Flamin’ Yawn… they’re just not of the same calibre as Professor Monkey-For-A-Head, y’know?
They’re the sort of throwaway joke that’d be ideal for a gag comic, but when you acknowledge how Playmates really wanted this franchise to be their next Ninja Turtles, you’d think they’d be pestering Doug for more toy-friendly designs. Kids aren’t gonna bug their parents to buy an action figure of a 6-inch T-bone steak.
