Dinosaur Hunter Diaries #100: Radio Men of Lost Land! Part 2

Friday, January 8, 2021 at 8:00 am Comments Off on Dinosaur Hunter Diaries #100: Radio Men of Lost Land! Part 2

Turok: Dinosaur Hunter #32

Lost Land needs women.

Turok and Andy are just one of many trapped in the Lost Land after a scientific expedition turned out to be a front for a sleazy film shoot — and while scouting the area, our heroes have unwittingly roused a roving slime beast to give chase!

Regan’s not having a good time of it either; while dressing down for her own amusement, the site of the plane crash has been invading by dome-headed aliens, dead set on abducting every lady present! The crew try to stop them, but Awkland bites it. The aliens make good their escape by using the film crew’s smoke effects against them, having taken the four ladies with them: Regan, Charlotte, Janine, and Margaret. Only after the invaders take their leave…

… does the slime beast suddenly stop pursuing Turok and Andy, sludging off to follow behind the human-alien convoy. The two have lost all their guns to the beast, so they’re in no position to pursue. They return to camp to hear of all the action they missed; Shoedsack’s dead set on kicking his feet and staying put, but knowing Regan is among the missing, Turok takes charge and kicks everyone into gear.

Shockingly, Willis does not kill himself attempting this. He actually learns a surprise fact that will help them later!

Meanwhile, the ladies and their brainy, sludgy captives lead them to their final destination: a castle straight out of a Hammer Horror matte painting. Madeline gets some lip from the radio men, prompting her to kick a crowd of them off the cliff… and she’s repaid in kind, unfortunately. That leaves only Regan, Charlotte and Janine… and for all they know, Madeline’s fate might have been kinder than what awaits them inside the lair…!

Just as you’d expect — more Z-tier cinema schlock! All the crazy monsters we’re seeing are somewhat out of left field in the Lost Land, which so far was limited to prehistoric nasties and the occasional mutation by Mothergod or the Spider Demons. To have a towering pile of sludge with multiple eyes and mouths, or squirming green gremlings with caps that emit radio signals… it’s all a bit out there, innit. To be fair, the Lost Land is said to be a melting pot of specimens from all possible worlds, so who’s to say these aren’t actual-factual alien lifeforms? X-O Manowar’s fought plenty already.

The problem with using a comic as an outlet for a b-movie plot is that there’s even less room to explore dumb character moments. We get exactly one panel of the Aussie before his death to clarify, oh, he’s Australian. One dude wears the Radio-Men helmet to suggest he’s either smart enough or dumb enough to try bad ideas. Brett contests Turok’s authority, but Lex figures so long as he gets the ladies back, he’s on the level. And the ladies, bless ’em, are all varying levels of cattiness that they tend to blend together.
There’s little to go on beyond immediate visual clues, but hey, maybe they die in amusing ways or something, who knows. Despite the carnage, I want to say there’s generally been a heart and respect for life in the Turok comics… but c’mon, in a setting like this, it’s asking for dudes to die miserably. We haven’t even gotten to the good stuff yet!

The letters pages features more queries from eager readers, including the general consensus on dinosaurs suddenly becoming a common new fauna across earth; the logistics of Kru’s alleged ‘brain-washing’ via the bionisaur implant a couple issues ago; and trying to keep up with Turok’s movements, especially factoring in his jaunt to New York to visit Aric in X-O Manowar #47.
It’s refreshing to know I’m not alone in pondering these questions, ones that go largely unanswered by the stories themselves… and also go unanswered by Andy, whose invariable response to these extremely detailed multi-question letters, often pertaining to Turok’s character relationships and lore, is “no idea, I’ll ask him!” Look, one of us has got a deadline, and it sure ain’t the dudes writing these long-ass letters. If you’re writing to ask questions, spitball some theories while you’re at it! Sow the seeds for Turok fanfiction! God knows I’m hankering for some!

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