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ONM Remembered – #351

“This month I’m gonna show you a scene from Turok. The game’s a bit scary for little me, and I always close my eyes when those nasty dinos appear. Ooops, dead again. Giggle.”

from Official Nintendo Magazine issue 66 (March 1998)

I can only assume this “Official Nintendo 64 Playlist” was an early attempt at what would later become Total Test? If so, boy, am I glad it underwent the transformation. This page is a visual mess, and I’m almost led to believe there’s a ton of content I’m missing out on because my eyes glaze over at the sight of it… but no, not really. Teeny tiny text, nigh-illegible screenshots, no comprehensible order to the games, and an absolutely bonkers star rating. I can only assume the star rating is a re-assessment akin to Total 64’s Reviews Round-Up, but where that magazine gave adequate wordage to how the game’s value has decreased, this seems to only demonstrate how botched the percentage scoring system is.

Also: Wizpig is ranked the #1 Bad-Ass Boss? Are you serious? The son of a bitch strands himself on the moon because he threw a strop. Nobody else on the list ridiculed themselves by being sore losers. Not at the time of writing, at least.