Attack of the Autobots

by Ragey

 

The Autobots are busy fixing up some broken equipment when they are warned of approaching Decepticons by Teletraan-1. Since Decepticons aren't well known for surprise parties or bringing tea and crumpets, they roll out to deal with the Seekers, along with Laserbeak and Rumble.

 

Laserbeak is about the only one of real use, blasting Prowl out of the sky after narrowly avoiding a boulder, but he merely uses this opportunity to take advantage of a gimmick: A net gun! Laserbeak, about the only Decepticon who doesn't have a mile-long track record of failure, is left to fly around on the spot like a doofus. Humiliation is the best course of attack.
 

Prime and Ratchet are nearly blown skyhigh by one of Skywarp's missiles, but they're not quick enough to dodge one of Rumble's convenient earthquakes. However, Megatron is among the attacking force, yet is not taking part. I wonder...

 

INVISIBILITY SPRAY. The dirty dog! Starscream coats him with the stuff and gets some of the same, all for their infiltration mission into Autobot headquarters while the owners of the place are distracted. Their target? The Autobots' recharging chamber. What deviousness do they have planned with it?
 

A PERSONALITY DISSTABILISER. What a jerk! Slotting it inside, the two vamoose before their disguise wears off, narrating to the audience that the next time the Autobots make use of it, they will be in for a transformation not associated with forming an automobile or jet of some kind! That's crafty.

 

Optimus and Ratchet escape from the pit to pummel Rumble, but since their mission is a success, the Decepticons are told to retreat. Laserbeak blasts off his rope, Soundwave leaves before Brawn gets to do anything of use, and Ratchet spectacularly fails to capture the punk cassette before they fly off. The Autobots reflect that a hit-and-run mission is never the usual kind of mission Megatron goes on and ponder whatever it was they were after, but one thing's for certain: It isn't going to be good for them.

 

In the morning, the Autobots use the recharging chambers in preparation for today's achievements. Zoiks!

 

Teletraan-1 informs them that Harding Space Centre has a rocket launch prepared that will launch a solar power generator satellite that will provide limitless energy to the world, and Prime knows the Decepticons will stop at nothing to get their greasy mitts on that power. But... the Autobots feel very...

 

Strange.

 

Teletraan-1 identifies the Autobots as Decepticons now, and Megatron's personality disstabiliser is pretty chuffed, telling the machine how handy it was to have modified, but Teletraan-1 is all "no way you'll never win the Autobots will always succeed," so Megs tells his enemies to silence the silly old computer. Prime does so quite gladly. With that out of the way, Megatron has orders to tell his brainwashed underlings...
 

Meanwhile, Jazz and Bumblebee are out for a spin with Spike and Sparplug, the latter of which installed Jazz with some dandy new speakers that he's itching to try out! Coming across a convenient valley, Jazz deems it a good place to make use of them, while Bumblebee has no reason to stick around and returns to HQ.
 

Bumblebee finds the Ark deserted, with Teletraan-1 in horrendous shape and not a soul in sight. That is, until Bluestreak steps out of the shadows with unnerving friendliness in his voice, urging Bumblebee to step into the recharging chamber to get him back into shape. The littlest Volkswagen takes note of the damage on Teletraan-1 and enquires to know what happened, but Bluestreak denies him that info, considering it irrelevant, and lifts him up to force him into the chamber!

 

Jazz's speakers are in tip-top shape, if a little ludicrously loud; so loud they cause a rockslide! He deems it wise to wind down his woofers and make himself scarce, returning to base as well. Just in time to witness Bumblebee being put into the chamber and having Bluestreak open fire upon him!

 

The humans ask the obvious of the situation, while Jazz conks Bluestreak out with a conveniently placed dumbbell. Bumblebee is removed from the chamber before it's started and Sparkplug patches up Teletraan-1 to get themselves some answers, revealing that Megatron modified the recharging chamber with his personality disstabiliser. The most important question now is: How many of the other Autobots used it? All of them!

 

Optimus and company arrive at the Air Force Base, drive past security and transform, getting themselves stuck into destroying jets with little regard for human safety. Teletraan-1 informs Spike and the others of this situation, so he and Bumblebee head out to see if they can help, much to Sparplug's chagrin.

 

Elsewhere, Hound and Ratchet are following Megatron's orders of retrieving the plans for the solar satellite, which Dr. Harding, creator of the solar satellite, is alerted to by security. The two Autobots, defying basic logic, manage to crawl through the second story hallways and arrive at her lab, but she makes a safe exit out the window; safe in the sense that landing on a parasol actually softens her fall somehow.

 

Meanwhile, Optimus and his hombres continue to destroy air planes. Megatron's definition of "the most chaos the world has ever seen" seems rather restricted.

 

Bumblebee and Spike arrive at the Air Force Base, but while Spike attempts to tell security that they're here to help, Bumblebee goes to prove him wrong by being shocked at what's going on, refusing to believe it's happening. So he goes and tries to remind Prime of who he is, only to get smacked to the floor. Silly Bumblebee. Rational persuasion never works in war!

 

With both the air and ground support destroyed by the Autobots, the scientific team have no choice but to call off the satellite launch. That is, until Megatron busts in and claims operation of the mission for himself! Soundwave reprograms the main computer, leading Megatron into one of his "nothing can stop us now" speeches, claiming he will have enough energy to conquer the universe! Not to mention that although he still hasn't retrieved the plans, their mission of taking the rocket to Cybertron and using the energy remains unhindered!

 

Sparkplug has built himself a doowicky called the attitude exchanger, which, in technobabble talk, extracts the energies inputted by Megatron's modified recharging chamber, while also energising the "purifying ions"; basically a "goodness transfusion" as Jazz calls it. Now all they need is a volunteer to test it on…

 

And Bluestreak happens to fill that role, having awakened and opened fire again. Jazz steps out to distract him with an in-built light show, giving Sparkplug enough time to pop that attitude exchanger on him. In no time at all, he's as good as he gets! Bluestreak remembers Megatron's instructions and fills them in on the destroying jets and retrieving plans scheme, but they put more focus into making more attitude exchangers to rescue their buddies.

 

Dr. Harding, still on the run from the Autobots, hides in a dumpster, which Hound is preparing to crush into a pulp, only for Jazz to show up! He throws the dumpster, releasing Dr. Harding and giving Sparkplug enough time to plomp an exchanger on him, while Harding continues her escape...

 

Only to bump into Ratchet! He attempts to get the plans off her with as threatening a voice as possible, which is kind of difficult, being voiced by Yogi Bear's sidekick, after all. Thankfully, Jazz reverts him to the side of good with a well-placed exchanger. 

 

The old fashioned jet destruction is STILL going on at the base, but Bumblebee is just plain tired of standing back and watching it all. He hops aboard a jet and begins waving his arms, telling Prime that if he wants to keep smashing things, he'll have to smash him first! Prime has no complaints.

 

Shoulda thought that one out, Bumblebee.

 

Meanwhile, a cargo jet is flying along, minding it's own business, when out of the blue comes Skyfire, and a pair of missiles aiming right at them! Being a children's cartoon, they bail out to prevent the audience seeing any innocent deaths. Unless they’re robots, in which case it’s A-OK.

 

The good Autobots arrive on the scene, witnessing their airborne compadre's acts of villainy and realising that with Skyfire's speed, there's a chance they could have the time to return all their allies back to normal! But, well, there's the matter that Skyfire's flying, and they're not. That is, until Hound realises the exchangers are magnetic, so if he fires it from his gun...

 

It'll still attach all right! After Bluestreak grabs his attention first and Hound adds a little unnecessary tension [better make this shot count wav] to the scene, of course. The main point is Skyfire's all right again, and he's more than happy to give them all a lift to where they need to go.

Meanwhile...

 

"I know you won't do it, Optimus Prime! I know you won't hurt me!"

 

Whoops.

 

The others arrive on the scene and are packing heat: Attitude exchanger heat! Prowl and Brawn are returned to normal, but Prime dodges the one aiming for him and transforms into truck mode...

 

And then splits into his three components! The battle station slash trailer opens fire, but being immobile, doesn't take long before it's hit with an exchanger. Roller tries to move in for the kill, but Roller's useless, and another exchanger sorts it out. But that's only two of the components, and there's only one attitude exchanger left! If they fumble this, he's a goner!

 

Just when the situation is most dire, Bumblebee swipes the exchanger and tries yet again to convince his boss he's not a big evil mofo. However, Prime is suffering pains and is lapsing between his normal self and brainwashed version, and begs to his little yellow friend for help. He plants the attitude exchanger...

 

And all is well! Hug time.

 

Jazz brings everyone up to date on the Decepticons' scheme to use the rocket, but Harding reminds them that the world NEEDS the energy her satellite provides, so they shouldn't screw it up. Current objective: Get to the launchpad!

Only thirty seconds away from blastoff. and the Decepticons have already boarded...

 

And the rocket has launched! Skyfire somehow drops Prime and Ratchet on the rocket, and the surgeon sets into the task of disconnecting the satellite while Prime will take it into orbit. Megatron doesn't take too kindly to this, and opens fire upon the two. 

 

Sparkplug, watching the scene from Skyfire, tries to think of a way to disable the rocket so it can't reach Cybertron, and that gives Jazz an idea. Exiting Skyfire and climbing onto his nosecone, he transforms into car mode as they get near the satellite...

 

To make use of his humongous speakers to create a musical sonic boom. Good grief. This manages to work even as they approach orbit, the rocket reacting badly to it all, so the Decepticons decide the wise thing to do now would be to beat feet. Successfully disconnecting the satellite, Ratchet and Optimus jump.

 

They land on Skyfire with no harm at all, where the flying transport is commanded to go "up. Waaaaay up." Into space! And there, a simple throw is all it takes to get that satellite into place.

 

The day saved, the Autobots return to the Ark and discover the personality disstablisier that caused all the hubbla in the first place. Still, mass destruction or not, the day is saved, and Prime thanks Bumblebee for it all. Ratchet ain't too chuffed about that, stating he disconnected the satellite and got the idea of attitude exchangers in the first place.

 

And Sparkplug's not pleased with that either, as he had to build those things! The two set about belittling each other, but Jazz reminds them of the matter of the pile of broken aircraft the Autobots caused, so they'll need to stop that insulting and start putting them babies back together again.

Skyfire is only seen in robot mode once during the episode, at the beginning when they're all briefed of the satellite plot. considering he only gets about three lines as well, definite proof they didn't want him hanging around the series.

 

One almost wonders why the Decepticons didn't just use the invisibility spray to sneak attack the Autobots and actually kill them for once, and then go through the rest of the plan with no fear of their enemies turning good again. Emphasis on "almost," as this is a kids' show.