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ONM Remembered – #191

“Too much beer and drugs, man.”


from The D.I.B.S. Productions DVD (Summer 200X)

Well, this is a different way of starting the feature up again – not a magazine clipping, not a pack-in extra, but STILLS FROM HOME MOVIES!!

I was idly going through some dumb home movies my brother, myself and my chums made years and years and years ago, and I’d totally forgotten how much my room was decked out in Nintendo rubbish. Exhibit A: my dumb sticker-slathered door!
I seriously had no screening process for that lump of oak. If it was colourful and adhesive, I slapped them on. Protect dolphin life? Hell yeah, dude. A Mickey Mouse anti-littering reminder? You know it, baby. The logo for N64 Magazine? Why the heck not!

I had reams of these things from top to bottom, though the highlight is easily the Mario Kart 64 banner, featuring one of its advertising taglines – “ROAD RAGE. Keep it off the streets.” If that was mint on card I could probably be a thousandaire by this point, but I eventually ended up peeling them all off because having a sticker of a LEGO ninja on your door does reduce your credibility a little. Don’t worry, I’ve got a talking doll of Steve Irwin that fills that void for me. Nobody’s going to take me seriously anytime soon.

“It’s a mad, mad dog. It’s not a not-mad dog, it’s a… mad dog. Black, small, it looks just like a puppy. We suspect it might be a cat dressed as a dog. Which is mad.”


from The D.A.M.S. Productions VHS (Summer 200X)

Exhibit B: that Mario Kart 64 poster I once talked about ages ago!
This was a great poster. What more could a geeky child ask for than colourful kart racers crashing into jungle flora? It’s a fantastic action shot, and it’s a real pity you just don’t see dioramic pieces like for many Nintendo games nowadays. If I weren’t overstocked on credibility-reducing paraphernalia, I’d be mad keen on finding a reproduction of it.
You’ll probably see that I glued cut-outs of Diddy Kong Racing characters onto the poster… for some reason. I wish I could tell you why, pal, but did I mention I was a dumb kid? I was a dumb kid, and all dumb-dumbs gotta pay the repercussions. I could be wrong, but I think I unearthed this poster a year or two ago, and it was in a sorry state – it had been crumpled and torn and did I mention it had cut-outs of bloody Diddy Kong Racing characters glued onto it?  It could have been gracing my wall, or even a loving new owner’s wall had I taken care of it, but, well, them’s the breaks.

We’ll be back to magazine scans and whatnot on our usual schedule of Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays from here on, unless I can find some embarrassing photographs of me playing Nintendo All-Star Battle Cards or something.