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You have the right to be dead.

Lazy daaaays. Sometimes they’re violently depressing, sometimes they’re crazy awesome. Sometimes they’re just right. Today was of the third flavour! Mind you it’s not quite a lazy day since I was at work, but the fact I’ve done bog-all since getting home definitely gives it the vibe of one.

I watched Showdown in Little Tokyo. I was apparently on a Dolph Lundgren kick several months ago and got myself a bunch of his movies, including Dark Star and Masters of the Universe, though I haven’t got around to watching any of them yet. This one’s just been sitting around in plain view for quite some time so I thought why not check it out? I had no expectations whatsoever besides it having Dolph Lundgren, and it could hardly botch that up, could it?

Agent Kenner is a cowboy cop who doesn’t play by the rules but gets results! The Yakuza are taking over Los Angeles’ Japan Town and are selling drugs! One of them also killed Kenner’s parents! Armed with enough guns to blow up New Zealand and, I quote, “the biggest dick I’ve ever seen,” he beats the hell out of every Japanese guy he sees. Brandon Lee and the Asian girlfriend from Wayne’s World co-star, but they can hardly steal the spotlight from Dolph Lundgren and his giant penis.

My continuous references to his genitilia are entirely superfluous, as there is no male nudity in the film. There is, however, plenty of female nudity, people being shot, a few limbs being chopped off (okay, two at the most) and, of course, lots of ridiculously cheesy dialogue. The movie’s pretty light-hearted – undeniable sleazy, but there’s something silly and amusing about it. The action is decent but not incredible, the acting is mediocre but not bad, and the story is just passable. Despite that, there’s a certain element to it that simply makes it an enjoyable watch, and I might have to say it is just the ridiculous dialogue. You can’t beat snappy comments like “Roughly translated, out of the frying pan and boned up the ass with a red-hot poker.”

I also finally got around to watching episode 1×11 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, about an invisible maniac girl. It’s not bad, but given the competition it’s relatively lacklustre, and it’s a little disappointing that the final scene is the easily the most interesting part in it.