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ONM Remembered – #473

“Surely this must be quite exciting? Actually, no. We’ve made more exciting cups of tea.”


from Official Nintendo Magazine issue 07 (September 2006)

Oh, the DS. What a hive of dodgy multimedia and crappy tie-ins it was. Sure, we can laugh now, knowing its life has ended and we can scour its library for worthwhile games after the fact… but when it was alive it was nothing but frustration, trying to find something decent among the waves of crap. The role of “crap” in today’s column will be played by Alex Rider: Stormbreaker.

I was about to slam the poor console for having a movie tie-in game, Robots, among its launch line-up, but then I remembered that’s nothing new – the N64 and GameCube both debuted with a Star Wars game, Shadows of the Empire and Rogue Squadron! And if you want an impromptu history lesson, licensed launch games even go as far back as the Colecovision with The Smurfs: Rescue in Gargamel’s Castle and Ken Uston’s Blackjack/Poker. Even Nintendo’s own Famicom had Popeye among its first products!

Long story short: I’ll take any excuse to shit on Robots.