Autobot Spike

by Ragey

Sometime quite the excite is going on down in Autobot headquarters; Sparkplug Witwicky has built his own robot! Using old Autobot parts, he hopes it will be a good demonstration of some human ingenuity, but upon activating it...

It just starts causing mayhem and wrecking stuff. Not a good demonstration for Autobot X. Prowl, Trailbreaker and Ironhide attempt to teach it the definition of being beaten silly, but they're shot down by fingertip lasers, though with some assistance from Trailbreaker's force field they manage to fire at it until Autobot X drops.
 

Sparkplug laments that Autobot X will have to be stored away until he's perfected, but Wheeljack claims he could possibly make use of it; he's been trying to perfect a way to relocate an Autobot's mind from one body to the other. Thus if Autobot X were tweaked, one of their men who was damaged and needed repair could use that body until their real one was fixed up again.

Prime compliments the idea, but then his attention switches to that of a flashing light. A flashing light so special that it only flashes when Decepticons attack the new Air Force One base!

The Decepticons want themselves some of that generic energy and begin opening fire on the security forces, but the Autobots roll in just in time to get their asses pounded. If anything, Brawn kicks Soundwave hard enough to knock over a humongous rocket.
 

The Decepticons promptly destroy the rest of the rockets and realise that there's nothing left to take, but they decide to zap Bumblebee as they leave just so they won't have the Autobots hot on their trail. It works like a charm and the whole attack force gather around their fallen ally, but it's Spike who they pay most attention to, who was injured pretty badly while inside his automobile chum.

Prowl and Ratchet take him to the Metro Hospital, where an absolutely ludicrous discussion takes place between a doctor and Sparkplug, lamenting the fact that there isn't a way to strip one's mind from their body so to keep the brain from dying during the risky procedure. Sparkplug doesn't find this at all disturbing and believes it's the only humane thing to do, and knows precisely what will help.

With the help of Wheeljack and the deactivated Autobot X, Spike's mind is transplanted into that of the robot and Sparkplug couldn't be happier. Spike, however, takes it rather badly and is having difficulty realising he's this mishmash of a robot, so begins doing what Autobot X did best: Smashing stuff.

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker prove useless in subduing him, as usual, but Prime knocks him down with a low power blast of his rifle. Sparkplug attempts to talk some sense into his son, telling him what's going on with his real body and this will only be temporary, but Spike states that he's having difficulty thinking in this new body, claiming it's like his mind is telling him to do bad things! Wheeljack blames this as a side effect of the mind transfer.

Prime tells him to take it easy and try to adjust, as the rest of the Autobots are needed back at the rocket base. Unbeknownst to them all, Laserbeak is spying on them! The tinfoil turkey returns to Decepticon HQ and gives the big cheese the 411, who deems this situation to be a great one, as he can turn the Autobots' human friend into their enemy.
 

Ratchet continues patching up Bumblebee and Wheeljack zones Teletraan-1 into a TV station to provide some entertainment for Spike, but thanks to some negligent parenting it's set to one featuring Frankenstein, Igor making particular note of the monster's mismatching parts and "evil brain," which just gives Spike more reason to go nuts again.
 

Spike starts ripping up the place again and screaming that he's been made into a hideous beast, but also claims the Autobots will never subdue him and makes use of rocket boots to escape the base. Reflector happens to see Spike's escape and is bound to be plotting evil purposes for it, and Bumblebee follows after his mentally disturbed chum, but Ratchet hadn't finished his radio transmitter!

Reflector tracks Spike to a cliff where he whines about being trapped in this junk heap body and laughs at the idea of using his power to benefit mankind, because why should he? He looks and feels like a freak, so he decides to do the only good thing a self-proclaimed freak can do: Conquer mankind!

And what better way to start doing that than by uprooting trees?

Bumblebee arrives and tries to talk sense into Spike, telling him that his craziness is a side effect of the mind transfer, but the monstrosity denies this and knocks the Autobot off a cliff, but saves himself just in time to see Megatron and the Decepticons approaching. Spike opens fire on them and decides that he's beginning to like this robot body he has.

He retracts those words when the Seekers are cheap gits and fly out of range while pummelling him with laser fire, bringing him to the ground. Megatron prevents him from attacking anymore and compliments his power, claiming that the Decepticons are not monsters but merely Transformers that saw their true destiny as supreme rulers of the galaxy, and offers Spike a place as second-in-command. Spike has trouble thinking but eventually agrees, and Bumblebee overhears the whole thing, pulling himself to safety and driving off.

Back at the rocket base, the three rockets take off with utmost success, prompting uproarious applause from the human attendees, but Prime nonchalantly disses two millennia of human advancement and technology. Bumblebee arrives on the scene to tell Optimus of what's going on, and he leads the way to the scene of the crime.

They find Spike in no time at all and try to remind him for the millionth time that his robot body is only temporary, but he claims he likes it now and opens fire on his former buddies. Prime reminds him yet again that the mind transfer screwed up his mental wellbeing and is what's causing him to do this, but Spike cites Megatron as another influence and uses him to blast Optimus some more.

The Autobots almost decide to do something about their leader getting beaten up by their own comrade, but see the approaching Decepticons from behind and direct their firepower against them, while Prime keeps trying to convince Spike that he's just slightly loopy and keeps getting blasted for it. Wheeljack arrives with Sparkplug in tow, who tries to do the same as Optimus, asking his son why he's blasting their metallic allies.

Spike responds by blasting his pop off a cliff, but realises what he's done and rescues him with a convenient grappling hook built into his arm. Megatron urges him to destroy the Autobots, and Spike complies...

With only the first part of that command, blasting the Decepticons instead. The emperor of destruction realises he's been had, and been had in the most embarrassing way possible; by not doing anything about it. He returns to robot mode and announces they've been betrayed, and that's enough reason for them all to retreat.

Spike apologies to Sparkplug for being such a huge jerkhead and putting everyone in danger all the time, but his dad is surprisingly accepting.

The medical procedure on Spike's human body was successful, so all that needs done is to get his mind back into that form. The machine then promptly overloads and doesn't look like it can last out much more...

But it's just a cheap scare to make the end of the episode almost seem negative. The procedure was a success! Spike is more than happy to be human again, Ratchet realises that it'd be best to keep Autobot X out of commission again, and Bumblebee ponders what it would be like for a robot's mind to be transplanted into the body of a human. What zany antics that would be!

The first instance of Optimus calling Spike "Splik." He slips up again in A Prime Problem.