The Collect Call of Cathulhu

Things are quiet in the New York Public Library; for obvious reasons, being night and closed and all, but that doesn't mean ominous and forboding events can be taking place! The library manager, Kent, is conversing with Clark Ashton, a fellow in charge of a particular exhibit, and is a little upset and unsure of leaving the exhibit's book on display. What kind of text could be causing such fuss?

None other than THE NECRONOMICON!!

Ashton's got no beef with the whole thing, though, and claims things should be perfectly safe. After all, only crazy folk who live in the middle of nowhere believe in monsters and ghouls, as people in the big city are more sophisticated than to fear the unspeakable cosmic horrors that certainly don't exist. With that confirmation, the two exit the library and leave the wellbeing and safety to the sole security guard.
 

Who, in no time at all, is given the task of investigating the sound of broken glass coming from the room containing the Necornomicon! Entering with nary but a torch to protect himself, he finds the window shattered, the Necronomicon missing, and when he reaches for the lights... finds his arm gripped by a something!

Whatever could it b--

OH GOD

AAAAAAAA

*faint*

In the morning, the Ghostbusters are having a very quiet breakfast until Ray opens his big yap in excitement at something he sees in the paper: The New York Public Library are going to be presenting... the Necronomicon! Peter doesn't share his enthusiasm, Winston misses the point, and Egon is more than a little shocked that the most powerful book of spells ever written is being put on display in a public library, of all places.
 

Janine receives a call for help just as the doorbell is rung, Egon fields the former while Peter answers the latter, revealing his date, Candy. Quick introductions are made before the two prepare to head on off their totally bodacious date, but the group have been informed that there was something at the library and they need to check it out, thus leaving Candy with no date. "Ghostbusters are heartbreakers, kid. Don't get too close to 'em," Janine points out.

The group arrive and are introduced to Kent and Ashton, the former of which is very concerned about the thievery, believing the city - maybe even the world - is at danger! Ashton just believes it's some thug looking for ransom money, but Egon's detector is getting high paranormal readings in the casing the book was held in.

Peter, clueless as ever, has no idea why everyone's so worried, but Egon reminds him that this was the only English translation of the book, and to even recite the contents aloud would cause catastrophic results. As they examine outside for more paranormal readings, Egon continues that the Necronomicon's words are like sonic keys to other dimensions, where the "great old ones" wait to conquer Earth, and provides a pretty serious example.

The trails lead into the sewers, where things are rather quiet. Quite understandably, being a sewer, but in a situation involving monsters, too quiet. Of course, before long something can be heard approaching them beneath the sewage, and up arises a very real monster!

The basic method of running away doesn't do much good, as three more pop up in front of them! Backed against the wall, a quick dosage of completely ineffective proton fire does give them the time to make themselves scarce, making their way up the ladder once more while Peter waits behind to hold them off.
 

Once it's safe for him to make his ascent, it looks like he's out of the woods. But these are tentacle monsters they're dealing with, and what are tentacle monsters good for? Gripping things. They grab hold of his leg, pulling him down as the others take firm hold of his hand and attempt to get him to safety. At the expense of his shoe, he gets pulled up to safety while Ray slams the grate back on before the beasts can make their way to the surface.
 

Back at headquarters, the quartet get researching and find that the beasties they just encountered fit the very description of Cthulhu's spawn, the worshippers of the big guy. Egon fears that the monsters are part of a cult and are preparing to go about reawakening their master on the ocean's floor, which can only be done when the stars of the night are in the right position, an arrangement that only happens every sixty years. What's worse: Tonight is the very date the arrangement occurs! Egon declares they should get as much research on Cthulhu as they can, so Ray and Winston are told to check out the Book of Dyzan, while he and Peter will head to Arkham, Massachusetts to visit a scholar known as Alice, who should be able to help them significantly.

On the plane, Peter enquires about what Alice is like, and is told of her many qualifications in the realm of occult sciences and whatnot. "Swell. I bet she looks like a tank with a personality to match."

They arrive at her place, get the opportunity to shake hands, and proves Peter's assumption wrong. He makes up for this with an unintentionally backhanded compliment.

They inform her of what's all going on, and to anyone, the threat of a giant mystical monster destroying the earth is pretty bad, but to someone who has a PHD in that subject, it's really bad, so she returns with them to New York. All reunited (short flight!), they hit Wagner's Occult Shop, believing it to be the gathering place of the cultists, and make their way inside, where things seem to be pretty normal and barren.

That is, until they go downstairs and find a room full of the worshipping freaks! However, before they can truly commit to treating this like a raid by arresting people or busting heads, a few words are uttered by the lead cultist, the wall gives way, and a Shoggoth has been summoned into the world!

The cultists get their asses out of there, taking the Necronomicon with them, since it'd defeat the point to just leave it and all, and leave the Ghostbusters to their inevitable doom of being rounded up by it's tentacles and other such unspeakable horrors!!

"Fetch the twig, and zag, don't zig!"

And then the commercial break completely ruins any tension. Thanks for not putting this episode on DVD yet, fellas!

Alice proves herself to be very useful in such an inescapable and dire situation, and cites a few more foreign words, causing the beasty to turn bright red and eventually turn to harmless, brittle stone, allowing them to literally break free of its grip. However, they're essentially back to square one, but Ray has a very nerdy idea that may save the world! H.P. Lovecraft and other writers from the 1920s to the '30s made a mythos around Cthulhu, and one of the stories in an issue of Weird Tales tells of a way to defeat the otherworldly son of a bitch! Alice claims the writers used the Necronomicon as reserach for their stories, so it might just work!

They pop over to Mr. Howard, a kind old fellow whose books Ray borrowed when he was a kid, and make use of his extensive library to get some research material. Winston, however, doesn't exactly enjoy it, seeing it as a waste of valuable hours and suggesting they simply wait for the big guy to show up and then blast it; how hard can it be to find something that looks like Godzilla with an octopus on its head? However, Alice stumbles upon the tale with the answer, The Horror from the Depth, so they've got just about everything they need.

Egon finds out that the most opportune place for summoning the big bad beasty is at the southern tip of Brooklyn, Coney Island, which Peter deems oddly appropriate. However, their progress to the destination is hindered by the car suddenly screeching to a swervy, out-of-controlly halt, which Winston sets about examining. Peter apparently neglected to rotate the tires beforehand, and the spare tire had already been used. So...

Train journey it is. After a brief encounter with a crazy person and fear they won't make it in time, they arrive at the destination and approach the sea, but the ceremony is already underway and the thunder and lightning associated with such dreadful concoctions of occult science can only mean one thing...

"I think we're too late!"

"What gave you the first clue?"

Cthulhu, in all his giant, lumbering, cartoon glory, sets about stomping on piers and sending the cultists scattering, while the Ghostbusters fire a few blasts from their proton packs at the hideous beast. Any damage it does is quickly reversed by the healing abilities, so Alice steps in to make use of her spellcasting prowess.

It seems to be working at first, Cthulhu suffering some mild degree of pain as indicating by smoking crimson steam, but manages to break free of her spellcasting's inflicted pain and sends her fleeing. Peter then suggests they aim for the head in hopes of blinding the hideous creature, but as to be expected by a large, violent creature from dimensions unknown, this only makes it mad.

Yeah, thanks. Just when it's getting intense.

Egon sets about explaining the many ways they are royally screwed, beginning with the fact Cthulhu's power is completely off the scale, continuing with how their equipment can't even begin to harm it, and duly interrupted by Alice with the reminder of the Weird Tales story. In it, they lured the big guy to an electrical plant and blasted him with a hundred gigavolts of electricity... but whether or not that worked is unknown, because the last page is missing!

When enquired on however they'll get that many gigavolts, Egon suggests they lure Cthulhu to the rollercoaster; they can ionise its steel structure with their proton packs, which may attract a lightning bolt. On how to lure him to the rollercoaster, however, Peter is the man with the plan. Or in his words, a very crazy idea. Wherein he will get on the rollercoaster, at high speeds, and blast Cthulhu in the face some more.

Quite understandably, the Lovecraftian creature tries to squash him, but only succeeds in knocking him off and onto a conveniently soft bush. The attack does, however, get the tentacle stuck in the structure, leaving it open for a dosage of proton power...

But they'll have to keep their blasters on full power until lightning strikes, which proves to be long enough for Cthulhu to break himself free from the structure. However, that doesn't stop the lightning from striking Cthulhu right in the kisser...

And turning him into a melting pile of goopy, steaming slop.

That's then struck by more lightning and carried up into the sky, through a rift in the clouds. Overkill?

Needless to say, although they've beaten Cthulhu, the cultists are none too chuffed, but before they can summon any monsters to back them up, the police arrive and apprehend them and their insidious, disrespectful ways. And the leader of this pack of unpleasant individuals? Why, none other than...

Clark Ashton! He reminds them that Cthulhu cannot be destroyed, but merely waits and sleeps until the cities of man can fall before him, but Peter just laughs it all off and lets the police go about their business of arresting him and probably disregarding his human rights, if they're lucky.

Back at headquarters, Alice agrees to take the Necronomicon back to the university with her where it can't be used for any more evil, but doubts that Cthulhu has been destroyed; but after all, it'll be another sixty years before the stars are aligned once more, so things should be swell until then, and she has no reason to stay any longer.

Peter, however, doesn't see why she's in a rush to leave, and suggests they spend some time together around the city. Alice is delighted with the idea, and begins to suggest museum and library exhibits they can go attending, which doesn't exactly bode well with Peter's idea of visiting good restaurants. Ah, fickle love.

The writer definitely did his Lovecraft research!

Though the animators spelt Weird Tales as Wierd Tales, which is just plain inexcusable.

Slimer is completely absent from the episode's events, and probably for good reason.