King Scoopa Koopa

Apparently noticing their rotund frames, the Princess puts the Mario brothers on a veggie food diet, although their protest is cut short by a dinosaur's roar. Never mind the fact they live in Dinosaur Land, where dinosaurs are rather common and everything, this is apparently enough to send the three of them running out and noticing Scoopa Koopa's fast food business, with free samples! It's egg, though, so Mario goes overboard in disgust.

Elsewhere, Yoshi and cave people hand over comically sized bags of money in return for not very large bags of fast food, where some the ingredients consist of eggs laid right that minute and special sauce in the form of mouldy fruit. Meanwhile, Bowser yet again ruins the suspense of a ten minute cartoon by informing the audience of there being side effects from his fast food, with the answer being that they turn into birds. You don't find that out until later but come on he calls them bird brains when Yoshi is the closest it comes to birds if you believe in dinosaurs evolving into birds.

Stupid ol' Yoshi ain't brought dough wit' his dino ass self, so Bowser threatens to make him into special sauce until Mario comes along and reluctantly pays the fee. The four heroes have lunch together, Peach opting for celery instead, and the three fatties become fast food addicts, which can lead to only one conclusion.

BECOMING OBESE.

ALSO CHICKENS.

SHOCKED AND HORRIFIED.

Peach expresses her disgust and lays down the law, demanding them to go on diets, must to their dismay, but then decides to lock them in, preventing them from actually dieting and meaning the Princess must enjoy being angry at them, although they naturally ignore that and complain about starving.

Fade out to who knows how long later, Mario bangs on the door for the Princess to come, and he shows them that Luigi, Yoshi and the treasure chest are gone, which puzzles her, and Mario's answer that "they've flown the coop" just makes her laugh. "So they grew wings and flew away; that's just great, Mario." LITTLE DID SHE KNOW.

Bowser then wonders what to do after his customers have totally become useless "chickadactyls", further evidencing that even in the cartoons he doesn't think his plans all the way through. However, he then gets a fiendish idea.

"You can't be too rich, or too evil."

Peach and Mario find their chickened companions and attempt to take the food off them, which succeeds in no way other than angering them. Mario simply suggests shutting down Scoopa Koopa's before things get nasty, but Bowser, who conveniently happened to be behind them, won't allow that and informs his customers of their plan to demolish the stand, launching them into attack formation, and for the viewers, awkward song time!

After running all over the place: up mountains, through Star World and into the ocean, they end up in the garbage disposal of Scoopa Koopa's, and make plans to bust them up from entering there, but if they enter as is, they'll be French fried. So Mario gets a cape feather, and that's their preparations over!

Considering they even made preparations at all, you'd expect a decent fight, but Mario merely sends the dinosaurs flying with his cape, Peach hits King Koopa with a coconut and he exits stage right with his booty, while the chickens are sent down the pipe to be made "free range chickadactyls." Epic.

Mario then educates the cave people of Scoopa Koopa's being closed by the health inspector, and by closed, he means totally destroying the place, and tells them to go home and eat vegetables. "Dr. Mario's orders."

Back home and eating vegetables, Yoshi feels embarrassed over his chickened state, and Luigi consoles him by saying he feels the same, and Mario cracks a joke that's both unfunny and so very laboured.

Talk about covering topics, this episode throws criticism at the fast food business, factory farming, pollution, overweight people, shooting good people if they've been turned evil, and gym socks. I can only imagine what they would criticize if the series ran for more than thirteen episodes.

Gotta love how Mario managed to shed all the weight he gained in the time it took for Peach to return to the building.

You can't tell how many rewrites it took for me to avoid a Soylent Green reference in the caption for the dinosaur eating a cooked cave person. I haven't even seen the movie!