A Little Learning

 

Yoshi and Oogtar are dashing to school, alerted by the Princess's microscopic bell that's something loud enough to alert them from streets away. Oogtar, ever the prankster, gives their teacher an apple with a Wiggler inside, disgusting her and confusing Yoshi. Elsewhere, the Koopalings Hip and Hop find the idea of school exciting and wish to attend, but King Koopa denies them, preferring them as illiterate troublemakers rather than educated troublemakers whose plans for world conquest may not go bottoms up. Hip and Hop ignore his speech and rush to school anyway, much to the dismay of Dome City's residents who see all this.

 

The Koopalings enter just as the pupils pledge allegiance to the United Lands of Dinosaur World, where they add in their unique addition of pledging allegiance to Bowser; despite the initial surprise of seeing Koopa Kids in school, the Princess merely says "you two behave yourselves" while she goes outside with Mario to tell the citizens that it's perfectly alright for Koopalings to be educated too.

Oogtar continues his pranking ways and gives the two of them a wad of bubble gum, claiming the teacher praises whoever blows the largest bubble, which can only mean one thing.

 

HILARITY.

 

The Princess scolds them for having gum in the classroom, but lets them off with it; she then turns her attention to Oogtar, and tells him and Yoshi to show the Koopalings around the school, which wasn't quite a chore they wanted. That instruction is then ignored for the rest of the episode and it's time for recess!

In a game of dodgeball, the Koopa Kids pop the ball, and while Peach goes back inside to get a fresh one, they start throwing fireballs at everyone, although they pick mostly on Oogtar. After getting him tied up on a swing and about to bring pain, Yoshi saves him by eating their backpacks, resulting in an all-out scuffle.

 

When the Princess finally notices the rampage, she breaks up the fight and points the blame squarely on Oogtar, and tells them all to be friends, which is quite simply the worst advice ever to be taught to children. Children are among the biased people ever, and for that reason they will fight a lot, so telling them to be friends is only going to make them hate each other even more until they learn of a little thing called "accepting difference." But then there's the worry that they'll never learn that. Beware.

How's about a totally irrelevant tangent about my personal life?

Let me tell you the story of a kid I knew who we'll call Jeeves. I, for whatever reason, simply wasn't fond of him. Maybe it was because he was fat; maybe it was because he crapped his pants at my party, or it could possibly be blamed on the fact that one day I wasn't feeling too well at school, so instead of taking me to the nurse, I was brought to Jeeves, and his word of advice to cure any ill-feeling was to stick my finger down my throat and blow chunks. I don't recall if I ever fought with him, so therefore I was never told to be friends with him, but I imagine if I were told to then I would have to double my amount of name calling.

I've no idea what that has to do with the previous paragraph, but there you go.

Now that I remember there's still an episode to write about, the pupils return inside and we head over to Bowser's castle briefly, where the King of Koopas wonders where two of their offspring are, and snoops about to see where they're off to.

 

It's the school's first science fair, and Oogtar and Yoshi aim to mix two different plants in hopes of creating something new. The Koopalings go the boring way and make a volcano, but it's only that night when school is over that we see their master plan: To actually use real lava in the volcano for maximum reality, and put a Piranha Plant in Oogtar's project just to cheese them off. The next day, the science fair is over and the judges and parents come to see, while Bowser is still searching for his kids, and comes across the pipes to Dome City, so he follows it to find out.

 

With Hop down below operating the lava flow, Hip shows the people his volcano, which impresses everyone, so Oogtar uses a whole bag of fertiliser on his plant in hopes of making it more impressive, but all that does is make the Piranha Plant grow. Although they're completely unaware of this, of course. Bowser arrives at the other end of the pipe, and is angered at his sons having gone to school, so he catches Hop and drags him away, leaving the lava controls unattended and causing the volcano to erupt at ridiculous levels.

 

Awkward song time! The lava completely demolishes the school, sending everyone fleeing, but the main focus of the song is Bowser's attempts at catching his kids and then the three of them being chased by the overgrown Piranha Plant. Yoshi saves the day by eating the Piranha Plant that has already eaten the Koopas, and then spitting them back down the pipe, where Peach yells at them that they're expelled forever. And then begins the really awkward and seemingly rushed ending.

 

"The lava's headed for the city!"

 

"No problemo, Princess! I'll be right back!"

 

"What'd you do with it?"

"A little bed warming for papa Koopa!"

Never mind the fact that it doesn't effect the lava already heading for the city, and the fact that it was the Koopalings, not King Koopa himself who harmed the people, we're supposed to treat this and Bowser's pleas to send his kids back to school as an ending. Erm.


I honestly burst out laughing at the pledge of allegiance scene in the school. I know it's a tradition of American schools, but couldn't they just remember that Dinosaur World is pretty much a place where anything goes? I mean, there are dinosaurs for crying out loud. They do what they like. Ain't no dinosaur constitution, yo.

 

When Peach breaks up the fight, she tells Oogtar that it's hard for new pupils on their first day of school, and the other students should let them feel welcomed. I'm wondering what message this is getting across about newcomer troublemakers. In Super Mario World, it's out of place because the characters are comically one-dimensional and the Koopalings have a reputation of being jerks, but how should one take this as a real moral lesson? I'm confuddled.

 

Although Luigi appears alongside Mario once the science fair starts and afterwards, he has no dialogue.