Battle of the Baseball Know-It-Alls


In the world of Baseball (honest to god that's what they named the place), the N Team aren't saving the world but merely having a friendly challenge with someone we all should know of: Bo Jackson! While acting as the designated hitter of the Kansas City Royals in 1990's reality, he's the team captain of the Videoland Allstars in the Captain N universe, so he gets around. He's also apparently a metaphorical cannibal.


Kevin makes sure he eats his words from that comment and pitches a good ball, though Bo manages to send it sailing vertically into the air. Simon, acting as that ball catching type person I don't know the proper name for, uses his "super-deluxe vampire catcher" to nab it as he chases after it, Duke doing the same, but naturally both of them just collide with each other and the ball isn't caught by either.


Naturally, being a cartoon, Simon's pointy glove ends up on his buttocks and Duke ends up in his protection somehow. And licks him. "Next time don't be such a hot dog," Simon quips, never mind that it makes no sense.

Elsewhere, it turns out that Mother Brain is observing all through one of those magic televisions, and her lackeys Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo are setting up warp hole controls, surely for some evil intention, but being stupid lackeys they screw up rather stupidly in the process.

Kevin gloats about how he's bound to get a third strike, but Bo proves him wrong by batting it high, knocking Kid Icarus out of the air and somehow making him drill into the ground. The ball goes onto hit the scoreboards, but before Bo can finish his lap around, the ground begins shaking and going wacky, eventually turning into a massive warp hole!


The whole team get warped away, much to the shock of Princess Lana and Game Boy. Instead of screwing with people's minds and letting the sheer shock of this be enough villainy, Mother Brain appears in a hologram to claim with the N Team warped down to the baseball world (which is more dangerous than it sounds), she'll have no trouble at all taking over Videoland!


The N Team are surprisingly unconcerned about their abrupt warping, making The Wizard of Oz references while Simon has a mental breakdown. Bo points out that this is the cellar where they locked away all their bad equipment; Icarus questions their definition of "bad," but takes it back when the baseballs embedded in the walls begin shooting out to bite everyone's hands off. "I haven't seen this many baseballs since the world series!" Oh, sports humour. How it eludes me.


Simon, Duke, Icarus and Mega Man get their asses out of there while Bo and Kevin remain behind momentarily to fend them off. The crew come across a split path; one up a mountain of baseballs, and another across a rope bridge into a cavern.


Bo and Kevin arrive and Bo states that since he knows baseball, he'll lead the way, while since Kevin knows as much about video games as the cartoon producers do, he should lead them. Duke and Mega Man side with Kevin, reminding everyone that he's gotten them out of plenty of messes before, while Simon reminds them all that Bo Jackson is the Bo Jackson, so he'll stick with him in this baseball-themed world. Kid Icarus is left to side with him or else the teams would be lopsided, and that would be no good.

Meanwhile at the Palace of Power, Mother Brain's lackeys are bringing Lana to her knees by... making her scrub the floor with a toothbrush. Lana plays on their idiocy by asking them to repeat the instructions to her again, so King Hippo ends up doing the task himself as she and Game Boy make their exit. Then Hippo realises this toothbrush is his own and clobbers Eggplant Wizard for that, and decides to use it anyway. Mother Brain berates her minions for being such doofuses and tells them to go after the supposed prisoners.

As Bo and his homies cross the bridge, they see something none-too-pleasant at the other side: Floating baseball gloves! With spit that dissolves bridges! Simon decides they make a run for it, but noticing another glove has blocked the way they came, decides they make a run away from it. Icarus tries blasting one of the beasts with an arrow, but it just gets spat on in mid-air, forcing him to lament over their situation and hope Kevin isn't sucking as badly as they are.


Kevin, Mega Man and Duke are actually being attacked by fly-like baseballs. Fly-like baseballs that eat Mega Man's buster shots and barf them back at him, though Kevin manages to kill one of them with his Zapper, because he's just that super. After having some fire belched at them from these mutant beasts, they decide to head back the way they came...


... and run into Bo, Simon and Icarus, where some fast thinking prompts Kevin to fire at the ceiling and cause an abnormal amount of wreckage to fall down, successfully saving them from the baseball monsters but also sealing them in. Everyone, naturally, is a little pissed about this and start complaining about it all, Bo claiming they'd never be in this situation if they had stuck together, prompting some sass back from the alphabet man.


Conveniently, a hologram of Lana appears before them and informs them that Mother Brain has taken over the Palace and sealed off the warps from Baseball land, but before she can reveal more information the villains show up and end her transmission. Lana pretends she has failed once more and leans on the console, pressing the Warp button with her captors remaining oblivious to this ruse.


The N Team realise that if they're going to get out their prison then they'll need to use their heads and some teamwork. Of course, Duke then begins sniffing around a rock and Simon believes the dog is just as useless as always, but Mega Man's sensing something as well and discovers the rock to be a warp hole in disguise!

So much for teamwork.


They follow through the hole and find themselves in an underground baseball pitch, and an ominous voice proclaims "I've been waiting for you." This voice belongs to that of... ugh.


The Baseball Card King.

(how many goddamned kings does Captain N have? And why do they have such unwieldy anatomy?)


The Baseball Card King explains that Mother Brain promised him a chance to fight our heroes, but Kevin just laughs this all and makes an exit, but apparently they can't leave until they play ball!

And by play ball, he means commanding an army of baseball bat shaped sentient beings to kill them until they die.


Simon naturally cowers out of this, but in protecting himself pulls out a convenient gong from his backpack which a baseball bat rams into and dies, prompting a quick gesture of victory. Bo gets the rather mundane-in-comparison task of killing a baseball bat with his own baseball bat, while Duke leaps upon one that's chasing after Mega Man.


With it taken down, Mega Man busts out a buzz saw and charges back at it, but in chopping it apart only lands himself and Duke in a pile of sawdust. Icarus then manages to get two bats to somehow get tied up on each other, which kind of defies how those things are built.


Kevin, meanwhile, doesn't even have to fight as two bats charge at him, prompting him to use the gamepad belt to fly into the air, wherein the bats crash into the ground. Not into each other, but into the ground. Apparently, the bats were aiming for his toes more than anywhere vital. With them stunned, Kevin just has to zap them dead and that's the threat over.


Having no reason to stick around, the N Team run to a cliff and Kevin claims there's a warp hole down the pit, despite the fact he has no real evidence to think such a thing. Simon has sense and says he's talking nonsense, but when they see the Baseball Card King and his army of baseball bats approaching, they have no choice but to leap down...


And are saved by a warp hole.

Lesson learnt? Committing suicide is A-OK if you think there's a handy plot device at the bottom of it. Never mind that falling such a length would probably kill you just from the sudden stop of coming out the other end.


Back at the Palace, Hippo and Eggplant Wizard have a nice surprise in store for Mother Brain: A giant cake with a crown on top! Mother Brain takes the crown for herself and thanks her lackeys with tears in her eyes, but they claim that Lana was the one who came up with the idea. When asked why she did such a polite gesture of kindness, she replies "you'll see right about now."


See, that's when our heroes fall out of the warp hole and onto the cake.


Since they fall on it, it gets squashed and starts spreading out.


And apparently spreads out so much that our villains are pushed back by it.


Pushed back so much that they fall into a warp hole.


A warp hole that leads into the Baseball cellar, where the baseball bat army are chasing after them, even though the Baseball Card King, and in extension, the baseball bat army, are subordinates of Mother Brain.

Don't you just love nonsensical conclusions?


Our heroes watch this from the comfort of the Palace, laughing all the while. Kevin cracks a gag about Mother Brain playing a "thousand-to-one game," where Bo replies "so did we, good buddy," and they slap hands. Is that even a compliment?

There's really no reason for Game Boy to be in this episode at all. Then again, claims of pointlessness can be said about all these season 3 episodes.


Bo Jackson's appendages are huge in comparison to Kevin and Simon. Bo could totally crush Kevin's head like a drinking glass.


Even though heart patterned undergarments are a cartoon tradition, one could almost get away with saying they're an actual reference to the Castlevania games. Almost.


Mega Man sure looks at Kevin during the split path part in a rather doting fashion.

Well, as doting as a midget robot with a frog in his throat can be.