Misadventures in Robin Hood Woods


Returning from a mission in Dragon's Den in Dragon Warrior (also known as Dragon Quest), Kid Icarus, Kevin and Duke stop off in Nottingham to fill their Warp Wagon with some juice. I don't make any sense of it either.

After Kid Icarus brags about how awesome he was in their previous mission, he decides to pop into a weapon shop to get a new bowstring, but Kevin reminds him to be careful, as they know jack about Nottingham and what goes on in it.


The Sheriff of Nottingham and Prince John are inside, roughing up the shopkeeper and swiping all the money he has on his person, aiming to do the same to a bunch of other places before the archery tournament in the afternoon. After taking all of his loot, Kid Icarus stumbles in and demands to know what's going on, but the Sheriff demands he leave quietly and speak nothing of this incident.

Kevin steps in through another entrance and demands the Sheriff and Prince John to do that, without the gold, which prompts Nottingham's big cheese to try and slice Kevin with his sword, but one blast from his Zapper is enough to make it too hot to handle. John decides there's no time to stick about and makes his exit, the Sheriff following after but not without vowing revenge.


Having swiped a new bow, Kid Icarus makes use of his scissors arrow to cut the pockets of Prince John's coat, as well as making him stumble back onto his horse and then get dragged through a convenient warp hole...

But four knights warp out behind the Sheriff and aim to do battle with Kevin and company! Kevin has no idea what to do since he's never played this game before, but considering all he really does all the time is use his Zapper and shoot at people, it's probably just a brief instance of holding the idiot ball. Well, maybe not brief.

However, a green-wearing individual swings in and knocks down the knights. Whoever could it be?


It's Robin Hood!


As he and the Sheriff do battle, two more knights warp in and start advancing upon Kevin. He asks them if they know of the "Nottingham Clogging," which is apparently a big hit back home. The knights admit they don't and ask to be shown how it's done, so Kevin back flips over a tree branch and kicks it at them. He tells them to stick to the two-step. Ho ho ho.


Prince John peeps through another warp hole to reclaim his dropped money while Robin Hood continues his duel with his primary antagonist, but easily defeats him by kicking the two of them back down the warp hole.

After returning home to their hangout place, Robin Hood sets about providing money to the poor, which apparently has the ability to liven up the colours of their clothing.


Kid Icarus chills out with Friar Tuck and Little John, who are inquisitive about his wings, calling them "feathery things" even though it's not like wings weren't invented until decades after their time. Icarus tells them they're his power wings, but Tuck believes they look more like fairy wings and the two set about laughing idiotically. The Kid claims he's still as rad as them all and could outshoot the rest of them, claiming he'll prove it in the archery tournament this afternoon. Robin Hood steps in to say he'd like a shot at winning the grand prize, the golden arrow, and Maid Marion is supposed to be at the event so Kevin will get the chance to meet her as well.


Of course, Prince John is Marion's uncle, meaning the poor lass is locked away in his castle for no adequately explained reason. The Sheriff and Prince John head to one of their private chambers for a little discussion as Marion makes an escape from her really badly protected room (which has no protection at all), but in trying to fit a key in a keyhole she drops it, the noise alerting her captors of something amiss.

She manages to retrieve it, unlock the secret passage and nip through it before they see her, so they decide to ignore it and return to the chamber. The Sheriff claims even if Robin comes in disguise, he's bound to win so finding out who he is will hardly be a difficult task, what with him being such a show-off, and when Marion hands over the golden arrow, that will be when they spring their trap!

Maid Marion is shocked at this news, announcing aloud that she must inform Robin Hood of this, but it's only when she muffles her yelp at seeing a huge spider that the Sheriff is alerted to her presence and promptly finds her. She is the main ingredient of their devious scheme, so he makes sure to keep her well and truly locked safely.


The archery contest begins, and as predicted, a Robin Hood in disguise is taking part, accomplishing the first task of shooting five jack-in-the-boxes styled after the Sheriff of Nottingham, which is bound to be treason of some kind. Kid Icarus sees his easy victory as no big deal, as all he got was five hearts from winning which don't even compare to diamonds and rubies, which are necessary for winning. Robin reminds him that hearts are better, as they restore life power.

Yes, that what they say. I know it's a video game cartoon, but cor lummy.


Icarus claims he'll show him up real good, but in storming off stumbles over his disguise and decides to just go as he is. Robin Hood points out Maid Marion to Kevin, but unbeknownst to our heroes it's actually Prince John in a very elaborate disguise who's none too happy about his role in the plan, but the Sheriff states that since he's in the contest he'll need to rat out Robin Hood.


Kid Icarus makes it to the finals in about ten seconds, but so did the Sheriff of Nottingham, so that can't be good. Icarus scores a direct hit on the target...


But the Sheriff swipes his buzz saw arrow and slices the previous arrow in two, which Kid Icarus doesn't take too well but he's just shoved to the side. Despite the fact the Sheriff quite clearly won, Robin Hood kneels before Maid Marion and asks to claim the golden arrow and a kiss.


Of course, it's Prince John, so he just gets the guards to restrain Robin Hood, but Kevin saves his chum by leaping into the air and onto the platform, knocking the guards into the sky. However, the Sheriff steps in to claim he's still got one last trick up his sleeve...


Surrender to him, or else Maid Marion will die stay locked in the tower forever.


Robin Hood decides to surrender, but Maid Marion shouts at her lover not to do that, only to fall off the ledge. In her defence, the guards don't exactly seem the competent type so I imagine her struggles from their grip worked better than she expected.


Kid Icarus grabs the golden arrow, completely oblivious to what it does but tells himself it better be the shot of a lifetime, and fires. It sails through the air, hits Marion's back...


And encases her in a bubble, allowing her to drift safely into Robin Hood's grasp. The day is saved, apparently!

Having finally won the respect of the Merry Men, Little John welcomes them to their crew before tossing him into the air with chantings of "hip hip hooray". Never mind that the Sheriff of Nottingham is still in power and all that political nonsense, the only thing that matters is being part of a group.

The shopkeeper claims he has no more money, uttering "cross my heart and hope to." Surely they could've had some replacement for "die?" Cross my heart and hope to be sent to another dimension, perhaps.