RANDOM HOO HAAS .:. General Writings: Shadows of the Empire

Shadows of the Empire is an awesome game. It was the first 3D Star Wars game that I care about and it was released on the PC and N64, the latter being a launch title over here! Totally skimping on those traditional introductory paragraphs I do nowadays that ramble a book on nothing, I'll just shut myself up and provide five reasons why the game is cooler than being naked on Hoth! Which isn't very in terms of rad cool.

There's like six weapons to get in the game, varying in gimmicks and power and all that nonsense, but none can compare to the almighty Seeker. What makes them so good that they're the best there is?

They seek.
No kidding! Fire one of these suckers and they'll home in on your enemy. Later on it'll take several to kill something, but they seek! No joke! The Pulse Cannon may be a rapid firing ammo junkie, but the Seeker HOMES IN. That's amazing.
You know what's even better?

SEEKER CAMERA.
If you set that on, you can SEE what the Seeker is seeking upon via a first person view! If there's a feature from this game that every other game in existence should have, this would be it.

A lot of games include such a feature in them nowadays, most notably the Grand Theft Auto series, but Shadows of the Empire does it best. Why? Bias. And also because it can be used to lighten up even the most tedious of activities.

Such as walking down a hallway or jumping to precarious platforms with certain death sitting right below you! And how it'll more than likely let you walk into a machine gun settlement or off a cliff!

Sadly, the cinematic camera doesn't allow you to pull a Han Solo and make a brisk getaway from such a situation while screaming and shooting at people. The most Dash says is UNH, and that requires him to get shot, which is no good.

Despite being the hero of the game and nefarious villain to Motorbike Man, Dash Randor controls like a busted mattress. He jogs at a snail's pace, his traction is slippery on all territory and even his aim is less than stellar (unless you're using the totally rad-dad Seekers). This makes him vastly inferior to his Super Star Wars counterparts who can shoot upwards without even looking up and pull off like quadruple jumps and the like, but considering this instalment isn't titled Super Shadows of the Empire then I suppose that allows him to get away with it.

What he does make up for, however, is ULTRA LONG JUMP. See that grey item there? It's a long way down and a fair bit across. If the game allowed you to grab onto ledges, there's a chance he could make it, but no way.

Yes way! Either Dash has the Force on his side or his game has the best jumping physics ever.

4) WAMPAS
The second level and the one that you see the most of in this rambling is what introduces you to the best enemies ever: Wampas!

They're big blocky things and scared the dickens out of me years ago, and they'll club each other to death if they encounter themselves before turning their attention to you.

In fact, if any enemy is in their way they'll club them to death before going after you, and you can even get them to be your friends by getting all the silly collectibles and completing the game on the hardest difficulty. Or doing a code. That's wild! Screw the Rebel Alliance or whoever, Wampas are your best buddies.

I was going to start this paragraph with "there's only three Star Wars creatures everyone remembers: Wampas, Tauntauns and Dianogas," but then I kind of forgot about Jawas, Gungans, Wookiees and whatever the guy who hung out with Lando in Return of the Jedi was, so let's start again.

If there's one Star Wars creature everyone remembers that will kill you that isn't a Wampa, it has to be the Dianoga. They got a whole thirty seconds screen time in A New Hope, but the video games made them the real thing to fear before Jedis clogged everything up with butter. And in Shadows of the Empire, there's a whole level dedicated to them! In the sewers! Where you use a jetpack!

(artist's rendition)
Sadly, although mildly frightening, they don't even compare to the ones in Dark Forces. Those ones will make you dead either from the sheer looks of them or the fact that if you stand in front of them then they'll start clawing you and such. Water is never safe in video games.

If this doesn't prove that Shadows of the Empire is the best Star Wars game ever and acts as proof that Jedis should be banned from any further games, then that's fully understandable. One can't persuade a person with "yes way!"s alone.