[source: http://hw001.gate01.com/otimusya/ekisaitobike.htm]

[translated by: Ragey]


Excite Bike

This game is one of Nintendo's early masterpieces, released in 1984.

I wonder if this was the very first game with a Motocross theme?

The game is fantastic with its daring jumps, crying with delight is a joy both with others or playing alone.

In terms of sales,

the game was notable for its shocking price of 5500¥

The typical game back then cost only 3500¥ then - 2000¥ less than this game.

The children were not crying quietly.

(Famicom 1984 Nintendo)

It's a very simple title screen, but damn if that music wasn't wonderful to dance to manically.

This fellows seems to be the game's chief character.

He's got no official name, but I like to call him the "Wild Biker"...

Riding a bike for your first time is like taming a wild animal, but I'm a professional and know how to ride my bike wonderfully.

The game controls rather simply:

You've got an accelerator button and a turbo button.

And after that, it's a simple matter of going as fast as you can and avoiding the incoming obstacles.

There are also precarious jumps, which require good tactics to survive.

Each course has four different lanes,

But for some reason you randomly start in a different lane each time.

The inside corner leaves you quite disadvantaged...

By the way, if you think this game has a brake button, forget about it.

Why, you ask?

The moment you let go of the accelerator, you'll grind to a halt.

Mind you, there's barely any reason to let go of the accelerator at all.

So why are the brakes even included?

It's just going to waste time if they're used.

Though the game does try its best to stop you roaring at full-speed the whole way through.

Jump-ramp dead ahead!

The most important thing to consider during the game

is when should you activate the turbo?

The turbo is obviously a lot faster than typical acceleration.

But using it causes the TEMP gauge to rise

which will cause the engine to overheat, so you've got to be cautious.

How inopportune!

The arrows might seem like strange decorations, but if you run across them,

your TEMP gauge will be lowered to a safe level.


The best part of the show is yet to come:

Your exhilarating sensation of landing after a successful jump

will not last long.

Great control is required to operate the airborne dynamics.

The four-direction D-Pad needs put through a variety of motions before you even approach the ramp,

but even a beginner can travel great distance from any ramp, which is a delectable experience.

I'll say that more clearly.

"It can be an appetizing, delectable experience."

Er, sorry, I should've eaten before I started writing...

I'm putting even the greatest stuntmen to shame!

Make sure that before you land

your wheels are parallel to the ground (like a plane) so you'll land safely.

Because if the bike is unbalanced

the Wild Biker will crash horribly,

requiring hospitalisation for several months with multiple broken bones

and the motorcycle industry will have a disaster on its hands.

... but you might be surprised to see

him dashing to his motorcycle like nothing happened.

Without a single bruise on his body!

Is this guy even human?

Wait a minute, take a look at his hand...

It's a round ball!

How could he grip the handlebars with such odd hands?

Perhaps he got his hand from a famous robot

known as Doraemon?

(don't ask me why he's got a bra on his head)


Is this guy a robot?

It certainly explains his indomitable durability.

I don't know, maybe they're magnet hands or something...

Let's ignore it for the time being.

A major selling point for this game

was the ability to build your own course.

However, to save these tracks you would need the "Family BASIC" package, sold separately.

The price was as much as a Nintendo console itself,

and it was so cumbersome that it made children cry, so not many people bought it.

I am the ruler of my domain!

I dub this course The Conquest of Impossibility.

I got the inspiration for this track from a certain TV show.

Alright, I think now's a good time to explain the game modes.

You race alone in SECTION A,

whereas SECTION B has you racing alongside opponents.

Both modes are time-attack based so the choice barely matters.

But SECTION B is more obstructive, so that can be a challenge.

Let's start with SECTION A.

SECTION A is a relatively calm and lonely race, as I said above.

SECTION A in action.

10 minutes elapsed...

20 minutes elapsed......


(the sound of the reset button being pressed)

Because I feel so lonely at this time of night

Let's give SECTION B a blast...

After all, I've got no one to be my spectator at the moment.

The main draw of SECTION B is a simple pleasure:

You can knock other people down!

The moment you hit the front wheel of another racer,

they'll tumble like fools.

Believe me, this is a very addictive activity!

This is a technique I like to use called the "Pick Scrape"

It's fairly simple - drive on a lane next to another racer, and then pull into theirs as you hit their front wheel.

Get lost, small fry!

And you can even

run over the drivers themselves!


(it's a big image, by the way)

Of course, the opposite can still happen.

The main character is toppled by some punk upstart!

I am outraged!

After being thrown from his bike, he must make a mad dash to re-enter the race.

 Get back here, you filthy baron!

Naturally, in a situation like this I'd want to run over and assault the asshole for making me crash like this.

At least, that's what I'd do...

Without even looking for the perpetrator

he hurries to his motorcycle before he loses the race.

I am merely human, but this sportsman is a most noble individual.

... I want to commend this man

for his selfless and gracious attitude.

"Hell Attack!"

"Hey, hey, I'm tryin' to drive here!"

Ah... this is what motorcycle racing is all about to me.

This guy can't escape without crashing into me.

The Wild Biker -- what a jerk!

And now I've got three victims in my trap...

The Wild Biker scored first place in the championship, despite playing so dirty.

His name will be remembered in motorcycle racing history...

as the worst foul-playing son of a bitch in existence.

It was all caught on camera, you see.

Let's head to the victory lane!  ←Let's head to the victory lane!

(return to Random Hoo Haas)

「This content is the property of Otimusya. I have merely translated them for an English audience. For details, see the disclaimer.」