I ♥ Octoman


Octoman with his many motionless, identical children.

Of all the F-Zero characters, Octoman is my favourite. There are bounty hunters, ruthless samurais, bizarre aliens, crazy taxi drivers, evil emperors, time travellers, superheroes, and furries. And while I like them all, Octoman is simply my favourite.

Why, you ask? Why not? He lives in a planet of economical dismay, a planet which is at odds with numerous places, and he's just entering this fancy space race so he can educate his children and help his planet. If that isn't immense generosity, I don't know what is.


Don't be fooled. Behind the innocent baby face and supermodel physique is an OCTOPUS FASCIST.

And for that reason he hasn't got any mentioned enemies or rivals. However, he does apparently have a bit of a feud with little miss perfect, Jody Summer, as she has some "anti-octopus feelings". You read that right. Jody Summer, a woman with countless compliments strewn about her profile ("abilities are highly regarded", "respected for her heroism and bravery both in combat and in the F-Zero Grand Prix", yadda yadda), hates poor Octoman. I understand her hate for nerdy John Tanaka, a man who can be described as a total dork-on, but what's wrong with Octoman? Guy's just trying to help his existence, yo.


Octoman, what would your children think if they saw you like this?

To further prove his innocence, when asked for a message to the audience, here's what he says.

"I love you all!"

You can't say that doesn't designate Octoman as one truly lovable guy, I dare you.


However, despite his lovability, the creators of the anime F-Zero GP Legend felt the need to stereotype and made him evil. Not even just regular evil, but joining a group of loud and proud evil bad guys who aim to conquer the world or get revenge. Oh Octoman, how did you fall so low!?

On the bright side, it's not part of regular canon, so loveable, family man

Octoman looking badass with his pimped out ride.

Octoman is with us to stay.


We've heard enough about his personality, but how does he race? Like a charm. His machine, Deep Claw, has a great top speed, fast acceleration, has a very smooth turning ability, and a great boost. Plus, despite its lightweight frame (990kg), it can easily demolish other racers with a well-timed sideswipe.

In comparison, Leon (another man animal character, except he's unoriginal and is a wolf man. boooring.), has a car with awful acceleration, horrendous turning, a low top speed, a mediocre boost, and barely enough weight to even shift other racers. He's usually the first to crash and burn in races, and I can't say I express sympathy for that.


So, with all this awesomity, how could they possibly make him any better?


Too sexy for his skin.

A modelling career.