{"id":325,"date":"2012-08-09T12:00:58","date_gmt":"2012-08-09T12:00:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/randomhoohaas.flyingomelette.com\/blog\/?p=325"},"modified":"2012-07-11T20:22:24","modified_gmt":"2012-07-11T20:22:24","slug":"onm-remembered-15","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/randomhoohaas.flyingomelette.com\/blog\/?p=325","title":{"rendered":"ONM Remembered – #15"},"content":{"rendered":"

“Just don’t forget to take a sick bag with you…”<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nfrom Official Nintendo Magazine issue 68 (May 1998)<\/p>\n

Ahahaha, WOW<\/strong>. It’s like the worst of 1990s female character designs (heck, worst of character designs, full stop)<\/span> were… jeez, I don’t know. I can’t even make a funny story out of this. Look at it!<\/em>
\nWhat can I say? The woman in orange looks like her head is on fire, the lady in yellow looks like her butt is pregnant, and as for madam cyber-arm… FUCK<\/strong>.
\nIt’s– just– god!
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/em>Okay, I think this one needs a breakdown.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. She has a metal thong, with either gun holsters or hip-mounted rocket launchers on the side. Very practical. Not sure on the sexy part. Definitely gives off a “don’t fuck with me” vibe.<\/li>\n
  2. Strangely asymmetrical armour. One arm appears to be natural, while the other has been replaced with the first thing they could grab from the RoboCop<\/em> prop warehouse. Her right hand appears to be no more sophisticated than a crane game arm. The practicality of this is as of yet unknown.<\/li>\n
  3. Those are the worst fucking guns I have ever seen. Just– Jesus, look at them!<\/em> Forget the beef – where’s the depth?<\/strong><\/li>\n
  4. I cannot look at that face without cracking up. It reminds me of every bad heavy metal CD and sci-fi magazine cover I have ever seen. That, or a robotic kissogram from a future gone terribly, terribly wrong. “PRE-PARE-TO-PUC-KER-UP, BIG-BOY. MU-WAH. MU-WAH.”<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    I’m mighty tempted to submit this to Escher Girls<\/a><\/strong>, though, er, having tried them myself (MY ONLY REGRET IS NOT TAKING PHOTOS)<\/span><\/strong>, I can say that the poses are at least within the relative<\/strong> confines of reality… I stress the term\u00a0 “relative” very damned loosely. Possible or not, they’re still mighty stupid poses. The girl in orange must have a very warped centre of balance if she can remain upright with her legs forward and her torso craned back. On platform high heels<\/em>, no less!
    \nI think I just want the girls’ costumes to have a good home alongside the comic book fashion travesties you see on the blog.<\/p>\n

    (also hey Escher Girls<\/a><\/strong> is a pretty rad blog with some hilarious observations and admirable messages, if you haven’t checked it out, check it out!)<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    “Just don’t forget to take a sick bag with you…” from Official Nintendo Magazine issue 68 (May 1998)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[47,11,37,43],"class_list":["post-325","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-onm-remembered","tag-forsaken","tag-game","tag-onm","tag-stupidity"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/randomhoohaas.flyingomelette.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/325","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/randomhoohaas.flyingomelette.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/randomhoohaas.flyingomelette.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/randomhoohaas.flyingomelette.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/randomhoohaas.flyingomelette.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=325"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/randomhoohaas.flyingomelette.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/325\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/randomhoohaas.flyingomelette.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=325"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/randomhoohaas.flyingomelette.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=325"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/randomhoohaas.flyingomelette.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=325"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}