BLOGTASTIC

30/April/2008

I get Corel Photo Paint up and running again, and this is the first thing I do? Good grief. Getting out of the house almost sounds like a good idea.

29/April/2008
A few more Transformers were unveiled yesterday, like the Jazz, Hound and G2 Megatron Legends figures. They actually look pretty decent, which makes up for the fact that a bunch of cool characters are getting recoloured figures and somehow manage to be really disappointing when they had dozens of good moulds to choose. Dirge, for instance. There's a ton of Starscreams to pick from, let alone other flying types, so how did they make his result look really underwhelming? And Springer. His BotCon figure was good, the homage to him in the Energon line was good, and in general the figures who have turned into helicopters have all been decent figures. So... he got decked out with a really wonky colour scheme. Great figure, just ruined by having green as a primary colour as his sole connection to Springer. Woe.
On the bright side, Brawn and Beachcomber are getting Legends toys, and apparently there's a deluxe Hound on the way! Those sound quite promising, but until I see them my outburst of FUCK YEAH will have to be put on reserve.

In other news, the stuff you find on Japanese art sites is great. Sure, half the artists draw the same style, and a scant number draw characters that actually look unique, but it's still more consistently entertaining than deviantART; not to mention they have no wonky scripts and flash ads to slow my computer to a grinding halt.

This, for example, is incredible. Thunderbirds is popular in Japan, thanks to giant machinery and all, but Wallace & Gromit? That's just astronomically bizarre and simultaneously bodacious.
Sheep on a motorbike. They so crazy!

28/April/2008
Whoo, new Transformers! Let's complain.
A reissue of Optimus Prime, now with some media extras in the form of comics and cartoons, which is quite nice. However, seriously, how many reissues has it been now? There's been a million reissues and, to me, it just seems a bit much. If they made a reissue that was just Prime without his trailer, maybe I wouldn't be so naggy, as that could barely inflate to ludicrous prices and therefore allow the standard sane person to pick it up without losing at least a finger.
Sideswipe's got plenty of renditions and a lot of characters mimic his style of transformation, and somehow they made him look really unimpressive. It's an interesting take on it, particularly how the feet are done, but he just doesn't strike me as appealing; not to mention he has Sunstreaker's head. I'd probably go for his yellow sibling. Looks like great articulation, though.
Bluestreak! I was not expecting this guy to show up, though considering the only other Prowl repaint is Smokescreen and he gets a billion homages as it is, it's understandable. As with my thoughts on the Classics Prowl figure, he looks mighty swell, but yeah, I've always preferred how Prowl looks. Nice to see him get some recognition, though.
IRONHIDE FUCK YEAH
This son of a bitch hasn't gotten a good toy at all; his original looks cumbersome (and is missing a head but that don't bother me), he got a bunch of figures that weren't bright red vans, and the BotCon figure kind of overloaded him with so much red so that he looked really, really unappealing. And now he's got a Classics figure and looks mighty fine! He does look a little lanky, though, but he actually looks like he turns into a car rather than just a pile of blocks with a windscreen. Not a big fan of how the car looks, though, but I'm a fussy son of a bitch, and since the robot looks great that certainly makes up for it.
It's nice to see the only interesting Aerialbot getting a new figure, which simultaneously makes Onslaught's reappearance with a new toy a little saddening, since I would've preferred any other Combaticon over him, but whine whine whine! Silverbolt looks okay, but the Aerialbots simply never interested me. It'd be nice to see Hot Spot get a new toy, though.
Also, THRUST VS. BLASTER ROBOT HEROES. I love both of the characters, the latter simply because he's a light-hearted hip-hoppin' dude, the former because he's a jerk who tries to pretend he's threatening but isn't at all. I'll have to swipe them up when they come out... in... Autumn.
Huh.
Would it be too much to ask for some test market releases, Hasbro? At least with Animated the toys popped up not too long after the cartoon so it was barely painful. This... this is just me being whiny again, but yeah, I want that Prowl for the real RRP.

24/April/2008
So I got my regular computer back. Now to just get all my programs back, and then once deals have been organised regarding a new computer, repeat it all for that one!
I hate PCs as much as I love them.

20/April/2008
My hand’s healed, but now it seems everything I eat I begin to choke on it.
This is just one of those months.

Also, I’m probably overestimating the usefulness of my site, but a chum of mine needs someone fluent in the casual language of Spanish for a creative thing he’s doing. If anyone experienced in that realm could get in touch with him (Lvk138 at hotmail dot com), that’d be super because it’d mean he wouldn’t have to have my legs broke for letting him down.

17/April/2008
You know the little tabs in doors that jut into a hole in the doorframe to keep them closed, the whole basic mechanism thing?
I cut my hand on it.
Like, an actual bleeding cut.

16/April/2008
I don’t know if anyone actually reads this site for me to ramble about the media coverage that riles me up for petty reasons, but you’re probably in for a few paragraphs of it so watch out you guys!
As you may know (or at least I like to pretend when writing these so I don’t have to give an autobiography of myself every time), I’m one of those guys who has no beef with just about anything, so long as it isn’t totally harmful to anyone else. Doing drugs? No problem, if that floats your boat! Using peer pressure on ze childrens to sell drugs? Those kids aren’t chicken, you’re a turkey. And one matter I like to discuss at length is the “obesity epidemic,” because I find it hilarious.
I found a link to this on somebody’s blog, and Jesus Christ. I didn’t even know the Miss English contest existed, but honestly, this gets me riled up in one those nerdy “I like to think I’m important” ways that means I just blab and words come out that I don’t really pay much attention to. For example: The “role model” argument. It crops up in just about argument against something that the argumentor doesn’t approve of, and I could almost have no problem with it if the problem was something targeted towards the littlest, tiniest babies. But this is a woman on a beauty pageant that’s restricted to the United Kingdom, and not one of those international folks who seem to have better influence on the moronic than our local dudes. For someone to be a role model, they need powerful influence. I suppose being Miss England would be powerful influence, but for her to win that role would mean that she’d be about the only “large” lady (she’s barely large you guys I mean come on) out of, what, a million slimmer ones, all aimed at a supposedly young audience? If there were more like her, then sure, I could imagine the role model argument almost working, but yeah, one person is unlikely to do it. Just yet.
Furthermore, one thing that always bores me about the obesity epidemic is the whole diabetes, heart failure, spontaneous combustion and just about every internal illness ever being caused by the addition of plumpness. I’m one of those people that’d like to question the whole thing; after all, we’ve heard about it for ages, but dairy products keep alternating between healthy and unhealthy, so where’s the beef? But, yeah, it’s a case of bringing it up when the person, in my eyes, is barely large at all. Not even chunky, really. Her body isn’t the same width as her arm, so I’d say that’s pretty human.

Is she had been the kind of fat where her arms were as big as widescreen televisions, her legs like chimneys and her torso like several stacks of misshapen dough… then yeah, I’d see it as pretty relevant. Because at that size there’d be a higher risk of whatever nasties all the warnings promise. But she’s at what I call “human” size; which is really pretty assholish of me, to be honest. See, how weight is distributed on the very large is one of those wacky and variable things that can end up with really weird results, so you could get it in such a way that it kind of emphasises the three areas horny and shallow individuals look for, or have it distributed in wacky ways that kind of make it a bit hard to say “big is beautiful” because it’s a lot less consistent than the skinny types.
Great, now I’m saying there’s a science to liking fat chicks. Next thing you know I’ll be saying there’s a philosophy to how you hold an N64 controller.
“Chloe is a stark reminder that obesity is now virtually normal in our society - and we should all be hanging our heads in shame.”
It’s comments like that that sizzle my circuits. Not only is it the whole “dude she’s very small that’s not obese” bickering I spat out earlier, but also because of how ludicrously misogynist it is, except towards a whole different matter. Fuck the fatties! THEY DON’T BELONG IN OUR SOCIETY NO MORE. That’s what it sounds like to me. That’s what people said about the mentally handicapped about a century ago, so they just left them in the woods to be killed by wildlife inside (I read it in a book about werewolves!), but society has learned to move on from those agendas and try and actually make them feel like people, because they are. It’s why they have special education. Not for easy internet jokes, but to get them education in ways that best suits them. The same with the disabled. Sure, management for wheelchairs and whatnot isn’t quite as plentiful as it could be, but the fact it exists at all is knowledge that they’re doing something about it and not just letting them sit by with no assistance for their different necessities.
For the larger types, it’s not like they have to do anything! Just promote ways to at the very least stop them from becoming bed bound and having to be airlifted by military jets in those embarrassing tabloid stories, make sure there’s no job discrimination or anything like that, and maybe have clothes that don’t look like curtains easily accessible. You know, accepting into society. Humans aren’t perfect, so accepting obesity, in my eyes, is like realising you’re human. You can’t just shun what the majority is embarrassed of, yo.
I love how the headline automatically assigns “lazy” once “fat” is included. With clichés like that, maybe dragging people out into active volcanoes while they sleep would just be the easiest way of solving it.

I also don’t know if anyone cares about the Embarrassing Crap section, where I attempt to demonstrate that I can write about more than just video games, toys and cartoons; but Amber Clouds and Diamond Skies turned a year old yesterday, and I finished the twentieth episode. Technically it began in March, what with my pilots and all, but yeah, it official started on the fifteenth of April. Considering each story is roughly 6,000 words and more than just characters shouting at each other (usually), I’m rather chuffed. Not that I assume anyone cares, though. I’d like someone to care! But, you know, I can’t blame them if they didn’t care. They’re rather long-winded and it’s one of those “reveal as it goes along” things so anyone attempting to point out plotholes will probably get shot back with “wizards!” If anyone cared in the first place to point out plotholes.
With an attitude like this I am so not going to get a writing buddy. =(

In other news, Energon Skyblast is an awesome figure and I love it, even though his knees are like that of a turkey. Plus G1 Soundwave is awesome to have, even if I did have to buy a spare one just to sell so I could get it at a decent price. Also, has anyone played Serpent for the Game Boy? If not, please rectify, as I have discovered, after seven years of owning the game, how awesome it is. SNAKE WARS YOU GUYS.
SNAKES STRANGLING EACH OTHER UNTIL THEY EXPLODE.

13/April/2008

I both hate and like eBay!

12/April/2008
"In Pictures: Eight Hot Kid Stars To Watch"
I get the meaning behind it, and I could see them gracing the covers of whatever "literature" attractive people are meant to grace these days, but that wording IMMEDIATELY made me think of the obvious. You know. White vans. Asking what their favourite pop group is.
Similarly, "Top-Selling Celebrity Faces" made me think of organ stealers.

11/April/2008
Dear Hasbro,
I love a lot of your action figures, and the superhero stuff you do is pretty radical. Keep it up!
However, despite being the leader of the group, Mr. Fantastic is not a very charismatic character. His design is bland, his character is unexciting, and his toys are GLUTTING EVERY GODDAMNED TOY STORE I GO TO.
This is frustrating. His movie-line figure is glutting the shelves, his Marvel Legends figure is glutting the shelves, and every single spin-off - whether it be a Stretch Armstrong takeoff, him on a motorbike or whatever - all of them are glutting the shelves. Every single Mr. Fantastic toy.
It's not exactly fun to browse in four stores just to see what variety they have, and all of them are polluted with the bastard. Especially when I want a Dr. Doom action figure that doesn't look like ass. Though in that search I may as well be looking for chickens' teeth.
Solution: Use the same body, except make it someone cooler. Like The Black Fox. Nobody remembers him, but he's a superpower-lacking cat burglar with a moustache. I say he's due for a comeback! Even though I know nothing about him. Moustaches, man.
Alternately: Dress Mr. Fantastic in only his underpants. That way you could put bits of socks and tights on him to make him into someone cooler, without that ungainly bodysuit ruining the illusion. I could turn him into Tarma from Metal Slug!
Seriously, keeping Mr. Fantastic as he is just isn't going to help anything. He's a fair enough story-telling character, but to have in action figure form is... very underwhelming. Not that there's anything to be whelmed about, really. The guy sucks.
Thanks.
Your pal,
Ragey
P.S. make a new Trailbreaker figurrrre =( =( =(

09/April/2008
"Seven or more eggs a week raises risk of death."
Not "raises risk of heart disease" or anything that could contribute to death, but it raises risk of DEATH ITSELF.
That... is BRILLIANT. There should be a horror movie about that.
Of course, then they had to ruin it by saying "Men who ate the most eggs also were older, fatter, ate more vegetables but less breakfast cereal, and were more likely to drink alcohol, smoke and less likely to exercise," so they may as well just say "people who eat eggs mostly take part in other death-inviting activities." Way to ruin amusing journalism, Yahoo.

05/April/2008
Today's blunder: I hit my shoulder blade against a doorframe today. Not my shoulder, but my shoulder blade.
I believe a reminder that this is one of those days would be redundant.

04/April/2008
Mood: This is just one of those days
Listening to: THE NEVERENDING HUM OF MY BOGGED-DOWN COMPUTER
Let's see what a horrible day today and yesterday have been!
[flashback]
Black Lagoon, after waiting a month, arrived yesterday. About time! Let's pop this son of a bitch in and
Except, uh, the only English here is in the subtitles. Subtitles that are frequently nonsensical, which renders the plot kind of incomprehensible. Precisely the kind of thing I was hoping for when I bought that Chinese Transformers Movie + Season 1 DVD set, which it didn't have. And now it's here when I didn't want it.
Thanks, China!

[later]
Hm! Here's a flash file I want to look inside! Let's get ourselves a decompiler and

SON OF A BITCH

Thankfully my main man AVG will

YOU TRUCKLOAD OF ASS

HijackThis will save my sorry ass, won't you

DICKS AND ANUSES

Surely Internet Explorer, which I rarely use, will have a supernaturally speedy connection and come to my rescue i bet you

SIMULTANEOUS PENETRATION

Hopefully someone else will have my problem, right?

EXPLOSION OF INJECTED FOULNESS

Haha! AVG Spyware destroyer works in safe Mode! That'll solve everything am i

UNPLEASANT REMARKS

This is too much. Now a walk will cure my mind

Hm.
What's hilarious is that after my walk, I cut my thumb on my coat zipper.

So currently I'm typing this on the spare room's computer (which only has like 30gb of maximum space, which I'd like to say is lolful just to be one of those superiority nerds, but it's not too shabby for simple office work) while my portable hard drive sucks up all my files and hopefully not get corrupted or anything. I always fear that hard drive is going to catch fire. It needs its own wall plug, for goodness sake!

On the plus side, Armada Starscream arrived today and although he lack wings, he's a sexy beast.

Teenage Kicks. A new sitcom for ITV, starring Adrian Edmonson! These two facts should be great, as there's a distinct lack of comedy on TV that isn't just repeats or utter crap. The latter on Channel4, mostly. Hm! And the shows Adrian Edmondson has written and starred in have been, from my rather juvenile point of view, pretty fantastic. So to have him back should be a feast for the senses!
Except Teenage Kicks can be described as fifty asses stacked on top of each other. Figuratively. See, Adrian Edmondson excelled at playing over-the-top violent bastards, especially with a stuck-up, pathetic individual as his foil in the form of Rik Mayall. Here, he's the stuck-up, pathetic individual, foil to two sassy teenagers and a dim-witted Chinese fellow. This doesn't work very well.
In Bottom, for instance, although Eddie is essentially the more dominant of the two, it's not like he's any better than horny bum Richie. They both share the same house, are jobless, and his vague superiority (when he isn't tagging along on schemes just for nothing better to do) simply comes from being a drunken asshole. Technically they should be relying on each other greatly, but they just use violence. It's great!
Teenage Kicks, meanwhile, just has three people and more bossing about their deadbeat dad. The dad was divorced and subsequently dropped into his current jobless state, whereas the teenagers have been given a house. He invades their house, and in today's episode, sells all the possessions so he can buy a 72-inch TV for his wardrobe/living space. Everyone's an asshole, and thanks to the different dynamics compared to the likes of Bottom, everyone's kind of unlikeable, even in terms of "charm." Richie's a hopeless, lusty git, but he's got a pathetic charm. The only remotely likeable character is the Chinese guy, and that's simply because he's the least offensive (outside of being a buffoon, but let's avoid that for the moment. It's probably talked about better at other places!).
The parts with Adrian by himself happen to work better; not exactly up to the standard of his previous work, but certainly more entertaining than the rest of the show. Now to mention the crude humour seems best sticking with him, such as getting a broken arm from donating too much to the sperm bank, but when coming from anyone else in the show it just comes across as "hey we're trying to imitate the past but IT'S THE FUTURE AND IT'S HIP AND EDGYYY." Saying words that sound like "fuck" but aren't quite "fuck" just isn't that funny unless it comes from someone who would explicitly not say the word. Teenagers and bums aren't exactly renowned for being clean mouthed.
My main problem seems to be that the characters take themselves too seriously. In Bottom and The Young Ones, nobody was superior in any way. Mike may have been the ladies' man, but he wasn't exempt from being caught in the house exploding or any cruel twist of fate. Eddie may have been violent and Richie hopelessly scheming, but they had instances where they blatantly recognised they were losers. The sassy teenagers don't do that. Even Dick Head, owner of the Lamb & Flag who threatens to call in someone to crush the titular duo's skulls for printing counterfeit money, isn't exempt from revealing he's turned on by two naked celebrities riding. Little things like that, y'know. Having a "superior" character can work if done well, as evidenced by Fawlty Towers, but having two sassy teenagers just feels like Basil's got two Sybils hounding him everywhere, and even when he one-ups them at the end of the episode the punch line falls flat.
And that is Teenage Kicks. There are gags that feel they could be executed better, but just lack the punch they have the potential for.
I think Rik Mayall got the better end of the stick by going into voice acting, being the current voice of the Andrex puppy. Alas.
Nag nag nag!

03/April/2008
The year seems to be flying by way, way too quickly. It feels like a week ago I was playing Haven: Call of the King and saying how much it reeks.
That's life, there's nothing you can do about it .
That's life, pull up your chair don't bitch about it.
That's life, there's nothing that's been said that ain't been said before
I need to get my Anthony John Clarke CDs back from wherever they disappeared to. Or find out if they’re even mine in the first place.