Ultimate Teacher


"Did you really think a little thing like a spike through the heart could finish me?!" Ganbachi lives, and he's in no mood for games anymore; he proclaims the cockroach will inherit the Earth, and proceeds to jumpstart that belief by beating seven shades of shit out of Karima and Hinako.


Meanwhile. the Pinball Mob are disgusted with Ganbachi's violent antics, but struggle with who to support. If they support Hinako, they'd be rooting for someone who shamed them, but they're not exactly keen on rooting for a half-man-half-insect either. That's an awkward position to be in, so they decide to make a great deal of noise as their input, a chant along the lines of "g'bye, g'bye, we're sad you're gonna die."


The three battlers flee from the scene into the streets, Hinako and Karima stopping near some convenience stores with children's rides outside. They hide once Ganbachi catches up, uses the rides to their advantage; shoving an elephant's trunk into his lovespuds and Ultraman's fists into his noggin.


The chase soon shifts to a nearby building, where a plan has been forged - Karima will lay a trap for Ganbachi at the elevator shaft, while Hinako will act as bait to lure him there. Unfortunately, Hinako is too weak to even collapse in the same room as the elevator shaft, prompting Ganbachi to bust in and prepare to impale her on his cane, but Kansuke to the rescue! Armed with a water hose and a dry pair of Pussy Panties, he holds off Ganbachi while Hinako can go and change.


It doesn't take long for the water pressure to no longer be a threat, as Ganbachi starts swallowing it, ballooning up in a pure Looney Tunes manner, prompting Kansuke to beat feet. "If I don't get out of here quick I'll get caught in a golden shower!" Of course, Ganbachi just sprays it back at him and drives him into the ceiling.


Ganbachi enters the next room, looking for Hinako, but for whatever reason he doesn't expect to see her naked in the midst of changing, prompting her to scream and throw a bookshelf on top of him. Conveniently, this is the room with the elevator shaft Karima mentioned in the plan, but while dashing towards it...


Ganbachi leaps forward and grabs hold of her, ploughing through the door and down the shaft! As they plummet, the mutant's hands tightening on her neck, Karima arrives to try and loosen his grasp, using his patented ass-string to stop their fall. He does a good job of hurting his fingers, but that doesn't mean Hinako is no longer in danger - Ganbachi still has a secret weapon!


Holy shit!


Well, he is part-cockroach after all, so it only makes sense (though the logistical side of it always bugs me how half-man-half-insect people always have spare arms, never spare legs), and the throat strangling ensues. Karima is, of course, Tarantula Man, so he can pull the same trick twofold! "I'll always be on top of the arms race!" he quips. Oh ho ho.


Of course, Karima's legs are busy holding up Hinako which allows Ganbachi to pull him with his own legs. Karima knows the only way to sort this out is with Hinako's help, and wakes her up. Being trapped between two freaky bug men is not exactly the best place to wake up, but after being reminded of the situation, she's all too happy to introduce her fists to Ganbachi's face.


Totally pulling some rapidfire Hokuto Shinken up on his face, Ganbachi attempts to play one last smooth card by claiming everything he was doing was a ruse, but that certainly doesn't excuse the suffering she had to endure from his tyranny. With one last kick, he plummets down the shaft, uttering vengeance towards all. "Today, I coulda ruled Teioh High School... tomorrow, the world!"


Karima and Hinako watch in silence as the mutant tumbles to the bottom of the shaft, landing in the trap Karima had left - a large web. Of course, they can't just leave him lying there, so they drop the elevator on him. Better safe than sorry.


Hinako returns to the lake with Umekuchi, Kansuke and Ryuichi. The suffering over, there's no argument that Ganbachi was a terrible person and they're glad he's now squelched under an elevator, but they do admit that life was pretty exciting when he was around. Umekuchi feels he's learnt something from this. Maybe breaking things up isn't the only way for kids to have fun? "If Ganbachi taught us that, he can't have been all bad!" Hinako notes, and everyone laughs.

The end.

Yyyyeah, the UK dub interpretation of the students making a great deal of noise is pretty nonsensical, and I guess the gist is that they're remaining neutral to the fight. The Japanese version explicitly says they want to support Hinako but they doubt she would forgive them if they did help her to win, so they try to show their support by singing the "Fight Song." In quotes because that's what the subtitles do.

The last discussion goes a little differently with less of a moral. Umekuchi utters "Ganpachi's gone from this world... but where is our youth going?" Ryuichi jokingly scolds him, "stop trying to sound deep," and everyone laughs.


The dub versions all fade out before it can be seen, but eventually the Japanese credits include Ganbachi changing from a slow and sombre walk into a giddy run towards the city in the distance.