Ultimate Teacher


Umekuchi arrives to check up on her, and discovers that she isn't feeling well at all. Hinako explains why she's feeling so bad - when she was a mere toddler, she was the toughest kid in the neighbourhood and would kick the asses of all the boys on a routine basis, but she had one unfortunate weakness they would exploit...


"We can see your panties!"


She asked her mother to get some panties that wouldn't embarrass her, but that only generated a frothing response about her talking about such a vile subject. Still, she got a pair of panties she could fight properly in, her Velvet Pussy Panties, and that allowed her to beat the shit out of the boys with absolute ease. However, when a few years ago she was at her aunt's house preparing for the exam to get into the best possible school and new clothes had been bought for the occasion, but her Velvet Pussy Panties had been thrown out!


With that loss, her confidence took a nosedive and she flunked the exam, thus revealing to Umekuchi why someone as talented as her ended up in such a shitheap school. However, convenient revelation! She has another pair in her locker and Umekuchi goes off to fetch them (not without a mandatory sniff. "This is no time to start beatin' the meat!"), and just as he's about to return them to Hinako...


A cane hits his legs! He tumbles down the stairs as Ganbachi appears from nowhere to swipe the panties, teasing Hinako with them as she's too weak to regain them from him. Umekuchi to the rescue, however, as he throws the cane at Ganbachi's back, sending him down the stairs this time while Umekuchi holds him back.


This gives Hinako enough time to put on the Velvet Pussy Pants, an aura of power immediately surrounding her. With her confidence restored, she starts things off by kicking Ganbachi straight through the wall, to the roof of the opposite building and into the swimming pool.


How long can you survive under water even in your velvet pussy panties?


Ganbachi isn't out yet, as before Hinako can return to the surface he grabs her leg and queries her on how long she can hold her breath before laying the smackdown. He eventually lays a finishing move on her before rising from the pool, much to the shock of the gathering students.


He tells them all that Hinako is dead. A goner, pushing up daisies, knocking on heaven's door, totally dead. Quite understandably, everyone bursts into tears, but Ganbachi tries to reason with them saying that one of them had to die; she was a spunky kid, but for him to go ahead with his plan of making the school into a great place, she needed put out of the picture. Things have certainly gone downhill for Teioh High.


Much to the surprise of everyone, they see Hinako levitating! People naturally believe it's her ghost rising up to the great high school in the sky, but they soon realise she's just on very fine wires that are invisible to the naked eye, being pulled upwards by a shadowy figure on the springboard. They witness him not only apparently kissing Hinako...


But stripping her as well! He claims his intentions are entirely honourable, he was merely giving her the kiss of life, though he doesn't explain the stripping. When the light reveals his face, Ganbachi is shocked beyond words; it's Professor Karima, and he's come back to reclaim Ganbachi, more properly known as genetic experiment X-B!


Karima explains that he was part of a program that was tasked with trying to defeat a stubborn virus that has plagued mankind for millennia, but behind that innocent facade they were also combining the genes of primates with other creatures; of course, Ganbachi is the cockroach hybrid, and is a plague that science has unleashed! However, the government and media all covered up the incident, something Karima was unwilling to allow, so he gave up his cushy six-figure-salary job for...


This! A macho man gadget-filled outfit. Karima dives off the springboard to deliver a flying fist to Ganbachi's face, but stops just inches away from him. After a tense pause, he flicks him in the nose and delivers a kick to the gut. After all, if Ganbachi is a cockroach, only a predator that feasts on them could defeat him, so Karima injected himself with the genes of that predator... he is now reborn as Tarantula Man!


Sure, Tarantula Man can have strings coming out of his ass, but Ganbachi reveals that after he takes off his gloves and shoes, he can walk on steel girders! However, Hinako tells them both to stop. Karima's done his part by giving her the kiss of life, but it's her task to destroy Ganbachi; things were doing well at the school before he showed up, the kids were making their way towards a fulfilling life, and then he screwed it all up. It's payback time! Ganbachi is not amused.


Hinako leaps off, preparing to kick Ganbachi in the head, but he's got a trick up his sleeve - his cane can extend into a spike! "Anyone for chick on a stick?" While he's busy laughing, Karima pushes him towards the spike. He regains his footing in time to not landing on it, but isn't prepared for Hinako landing on his head and driving him through it.


The scene grows quiet. Karima checks Ganbachi's pulse, and confirms that the evil insect's life is over. Almost immediately, the day brightens up - the sun rises from over the hill, prompting the cheers of a new day from the students. Even Ryuichi is getting better in the hospital! Karima laments that there was probably no choice to Ganbachi's actions; "a cockroach has gotta do what a cockroach has gotta do."


It is a joyous day, indeed.



In the Japanese version, Hinako's aunt merely sent the Pussy Panties to be cleaned, but the time without them made her physically ill, hence why she dropped the exam. Also, the underwater discussion revolves around how Hinako has a fever and it certainly won't be treated well in an ice-cold pool, but the UK dub turns it into a query on how long she can hold her breath (phrasing it as if the Pussy Panties give her superhuman breathing powers). Amusingly, the US dub doesn't seem to get the joke of that scene and why the subtitles are there, as both characters still talk just fine underwater without even any aquatic sound filters or anything.

I didn't mention it because the UK dub turns it into a bizarre drawn-out session of confusion, but in the Japanese version before Karima explains Ganbachi's history the students seem incapable of understanding him simply because he's a scientist, and thus seem to hear what he says as incomprehensible technobabble, and realise that everyone they know who could understand it isn't available, eventually descending into some people crying for no reason. The UK dub, meanwhile, turns it into the pupils discussing the his occupation of genetics professor, eventually crying because they wanted to take that course but it wasn't available. It's not a very good scene, but the UK dub, on paper, kinda makes a better gag out of the scene.

Karima mentions his surname in the UK dub, but it's not listed in the credits or his original name caption. The Japanese version gives his surname as Burei, but he seems to pronounce it as "Burei-ma" in English. Huh.