Money Is Everything


Dirk Manus, pilot of the trading ship Lazy Sue is under attack from Terrorcon Hun-Gurrr, who's firing missiles and eating satellites like nobody's business. The Earth Defence Command eventually receive his SOS and assign Marissa Faireborn to the task, with Technobots Scattershot and Strafe there to back her up.


However, they don't exactly achieve much; Scattershot gets tackled by Hun-Gurrr, Strafe thinks Lazy Sue is their target and shoots it down before also getting tackled by the Terrorcon, and they all just crash into the ground. Marissa realises her team-mates are stupid and calls the three remaining Technobots at Autobot City, who after a little bickering on what to do decide to head out.


Nosecone, Afterburner and Lightspeed arrive on the scene, and after doing some techno babble analysis on Hun-Gurrr's physiology, blast him all at once and that's enough to send him spiralling into the air. Strafe and Scattershot thank their chums, but Marissa informs them that whoever was piloting Lazy Sue has fled, but Dirk is actually burying smuggled goods elsewhere.


Dirk introduces himself to Faireborn and flirts a little with her, before mentioning that why Hun-Gurrr was attacking was likely because he stumbled upon a Quintesson base near Saturn, and offers a deal: Pay his fee and he'll reveal the whereabouts. The Technobots form Computron to work out whether this is a good idea, and eventually come to the conclusion that's telling the truth and suggests they head out with him tomorrow.

Until then, Marissa vows to not let him out of her sight for a minute, so they go dancing. At night, Dirk returns to his crashed ship and contacts a client; a Quintesson! He triples his asking price what with them sending Hun-Gurrr to munch on him earlier, but since the goods he's providing, "the replicator" is essential to their needs, they have no problem, and he mentions he'll throw in the Technobots for free. Conveniently, Marissa overhears the whole thing and steps out...


Only for Dirk to blast her gun away and tries to weasel his way out of sounding criminal, but simply knocks her out and takes off with the replicator, which he buried earlier. He continues about his business about taking the Technobots to the Quintesson base, though they wonder if it's okay to do without asking Faireborn but just dismiss it as wacky human behaviour. Afterburner and Nosecone remain behind on Earth just to keep things in order there.


Apparently having been tied to a cactus all night, Marissa frees herself and grabs the attention of a nearby patrolling Afterburner and Nosecone, which is just incredible convenience.

As they approach Saturn, Lightspeed goes into a long tangent about his love of the stars and planets and all that, but it's mercifully interrupted by the three of them being shot down by Abominus.


The Technobots drift into the orbit of Saturn, so Dirk does the same to avoid Abominus' attack, but the Terrorcon combiner eventually splits into his component parts. As Manus arrives at his clients, the Quintessons reveal that the Terrorcons were installed with a timing device to split them up, as they're reckless and stupid and lack self-discipline.


He hands them the replicator and they test it out on Blot. Once activated, it zaps the poor guy and seemingly vaporises him, but another push of the button brings him back, now clean of injuries and any little problems, which makes him sick. The Quintessons are satisfied with the replicator and agree to pay the fee, though Dirk slips a little device onto it without them noticing before he leaves.

Only as Manus leaves does he realise the chest of money is actually mimic dust! However, the device he left on the replicator is a nullifier that will make it inoperable if activated, but when he tries to do that his ship blows up. Triple crossed!

He makes a crash-landing and the three Technobots find him again, none too happy with him leading them into a trap, but when he tries to genuinely warn them of Sharkticons approaching they believe he's telling more fibs. They get shot a bit before shooting overhanging vines and thorns that temporarily trap the Quintesson minions, allowing them to make a quick exit.


They make it to a cliff before being corner, but Nosecone, Afterburner and Marissa Faireborn arrive just in time! They destroy and chase off the Sharkticons while Marissa gives Dirk an uppercut to the chin for being such a humongous dick. However, the Technobots are too injured to return to Earth and Manus claims they can't leave without reclaiming the replicator, but he knows how it can be used to help them out. Unable to form Computron, they'll just have to trust him. That's a tall order.


As they make their way back to the Quintesson base, Dirk and Faireborn argue like married couples, only for Marissa to get her arm entangled in a living plant, prompting Dirk and Scattershot to rescue her. "I'm not such a bad guy after all," Manus quips, and the two snog. The Technobots are appalled, but it's actually just a ploy to nab Faireborn's gun and take them all hostage.


The Quintessons are surprised he's still doing business with them, but considering his ship is totalled he's got no choice. Plus he didn't get paid for the last task. Marissa is disgusted by both Dirk's dickheadedness and what little the Technobots are doing, but they claim they're thinking of a way to get themselves out of this sticky situation. Not quick enough to stop Dirk using the replicator to vaporise them!


Marissa tries to lash out at Manus, but the Terrorcons stand in her way and surround her; with that distraction Dirk uses the replicator to bring the Technobots back behind them, the device fully healing them in the process. The Quintessons are now the ones major cheesed off and command the Terrorcons to form Abominus, the Technobots doing the same into Computron.


The two gestalts start duelling, though it's really more a case of one being reckless and violent and the other dodging all the attacks and talking in monotone. Abominus forces Computron down onto a building and starts pummelling him, but the Technobot combiner merely gets a precise shot on the timing device and disassembles his opponent. The Decepticons make their exit.


The Quintessons do the same, and all is well. Back on Earth, Marissa reluctantly thanks Dirk for helping out, even if he didn't keep her informed of his ruse, and laments that he didn't get his money, but Manus says he's just okay with Lazy Sue being repaired. Lightspeed returns to inform them that the money seized from the Quintesson site is gone, but before Faireborn can berate Dirk he grabs a kiss, throws her away and takes off in his ship.


Marissa believes it isn't necessary to go after him, and for good reason: He stole more mimic dust! Dirk just laughs at Marissa's craftiness, while she just laughs for the sake of winning for once.

The fact the Terrorcons belong to the Quintessons is mildly wacky, as they belonged to Galvatron in the previous episode.


And the Terrorcons are woefully underrepresented in this episode. The Technobots get all the descriptive biographies and action, while they just eat each other.