A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court

by Ragey


Starscream, Ramjet, Ravage and Rumble are engaged in a fire fight with Hoist and Warpath, and the Decepticons are all too low on energy to prove much of a threat. Even Ramjet's patented ramming manoeuvre is thwarted by Warpath idly rolling into him, knocking the lot of them off a cliff. Starscream suggests an apt retreat, but Rumble detects energy nearby from a suspicious temple of some kind, which they're all a little wary of until Warpath rolls in again firing shots wildly, prompting them to head inside as the entrance becomes blocked by rubble.


Starscream fears this will be their grave if they don't have anything to fight back with, but Rumble's detection of energy coming from the stones gets him shoved aside while Starscream takes the lot of it for himself. As he does so, symbols on the rock light up, and once they're all lit up they see that the entrance isn't blocked anymore! And the Autobots are gone too! Double rockage. They appear to be surrounded by much more foliage though, in which a strangely-dressed girl believes them to be armoured knights arising from the Dragon Mound.

They're quickly met with hostile company - horse riding knights! Of course, being morons, Rumble thinks they're Autobots. The knights believe the Decepticons to be spies from the Red Knight and charge upon them with lances, but are duly pushed over by the two Seekers, prompting Rumble to comment on the sloppy design. One knight introduces himself as Sir Wigend du Blackthorne, who when having his fashion sense dissed as primitive name-drops the current year as 543, thus making it obvious that they happen to have time travelled! Starscream agrees to help him out in defeating the Red Knight, but the conversation is interrupted by the girl from earlier stepping on a twig as she makes her escape to warn her father of this potential attack.


The knights and Ravage give chase, but it doesn't come to much as after evading the knights through a thorny patch she eventually bumps into Spike Witwicky, of all people! Of course, Ravage in still on her tail, but Warpath rolling through the temple quickly knocks the kitty out of the way and sends it packing. The girl leads Spike and the two Autobots away from the mound before its titular dragon returns (which they assume to just be Starscream) while they brought up to date on the year they're in, the girl's name of Nimue and are asked for help to fight the other so-called giant knights. Nimue's very trusting to people who've done little more than run down a robotic jaguar.

The group arrive at Camelot where Hoist melds a suit of armour for Spike for tomorrow's jousting tournament while asking Sir Aetheling the Red about why he's feuding with Blackthorne. Aetheling explains that Blackthorne's cows wandered into his garden through a break in BT's fence, and Sir Red said he will keep the cows until the fence was fixed, but Blackthorne accused him of theft and claimed the land they're currently on is really his. The tournament is just an excuse to get them on the same turf to settle it like gentlemen - in theory. Touchy topic.

While Nimue lusts over Spike in his new armour, Hoist is feeling rather low on energy, which can't be good considering they're back before even steam locomotives existed.


Tomorrow is ready in one swing of that alliance insignia intermission and Spike's told the basics of jousting: Aim for the centre of the target and hold on tight! Despite these simple instructions he only accomplishes the latter part of it. Aetheling sets about conversing with Blackthorne and hopes to settle the bovine issue, but Blackthorne is only willing to do it in battle, wherein the victor will become ruler of the entire countryside. And with that, Blackthorne introduces his jousting champions...


Ramjet and Rumble! Warpath quickly enters the scene and gets Aetheling to mount him, and through sheer craziness, bests the Decepticons in the joust! Nimue is overjoyed and demands Blackthorne to apologise to her father, but Starscream's sick of this chivalrous nonsense and just kidnaps the princess, threatening Aetheling to give up his kingdom or never see his daughter again! The Decepticons make their retreat even without the energy to fly, while the knights and Autobots thoroughly botch up their attempt to stop them.


Hoist notes they even lack the energy to remain in vehicle mode now, so the whole saving the day plan is botch from the get-go. However, an owl circles overhead and returns to its master, Beorht, who is more than happy to see his pet Solomon once more. Through the power of MAGIC, Solomon communicates to the wizard that Nimue has been kidnapped by the Decepticons, which prompts Beohrt to believe that those robots are just asking for trouble.

Meanwhile, Blackthorne berates the Decepticons for not only kidnapping Nimue, but also imprisoning her in his castle, but Starsceam just tells him to shut his face as he owns the castle now. Starscream is also supplied with gold by one of the servants and proceeds to mash it into wire for a devious plan he has prepared!


Meanwhile, Starscream uses slave labour to power a small generator and recharge himself, hogging the energy from Rumble and Ravage. As if this wasn't enough, he claims it isn't enough to support his basic operations and demands the slaves to go faster, all the while not even giving the others a sample. What a jerk!

Spike and Warpath are feeling rather guilty over letting Nimue getting kidnapped, the former of them meant to be her knight and all, but Warpath suggests he got and see what he can do to save her, with the only given limitation to leave some Decepticons for him to punch later.

Ramjet makes charcoal from burning logs and is sent out for rock salt, while Rumble is told to fetch him some potassium nitrate and sulphur. Hm!


Blackthorne enters Nimue's chamber and attempts to talk rationally to her, but her moody outburst forces the two of them to the floor for a bit of wrasslin', the princess clearly unhappy with the whole series of events since spying on his encounter with the Decepticons. Blackthorne actually agrees, admitting he's been a complete tosspot to let this all happen; and to say the most cliché thing ever, notes how beautiful Nimue's eyes are. It still wins her heart, though.


Rumble returns inside the castle with a barrel load of seagull droppings, so all of Starscream's ingredients have been gathered. The head honcho of the little team sets about mixing it all together in a Transformer-sized cauldron, and notes that although they don't have typical cartoon lasers in their current unenergised condition, they've gotten themselves a new weapon - gunpowder!


Meanwhile, Spike attempts to climb up the vines to Nimue's tower and try to rescue her. After one botched climbing and having to ditch his armour to finally make his way up, it all turns out for naught, as upon arriving he finds out that Blackthorne and Nimue have sorted out their problems, and have actually proposed to get married!

Elsewhere, Hoist and Warpath hang out with Aetheling's knights as they prepare to raid Blackthorne's castle.


Of course, as they advance things don't fare too well, all their catapults and ladders being destroyed by flung barrels of gunpowder. Thankfully for the loss of that latter utility, Hoist is there to act as a bridge across the moat. Atop the tower, Blackthorne demands his underling, Sir Wulf, to help him overthrow Starscream, but since that's the very fellow who relieved him of his command, Wulf just flings his boss straight into the moat.


Spike prepares to duel the treacherous bastard with a wooden stool as his sole weapon, but what Wulf doesn't realise is that he has Nimue as backup, who clogs him over the head with another stool from behind. Hoist replaces the ladder once more by allowing his height-impaired allies scale the wall to the top of the castle, but Warpath decides to take advantage of this kind gesture, much to Hoist's chagrin. As if that wasn't bad enough, Warpath's duel with Ramjet lasts no more than five seconds before he's knocked off again, and right on top of Hoist to boot.


While Spike ties up Wulf, Ravage enters the scene and prepares to munch on his face, but Solomon swoops in just in time to distract the robotic feline, soon followed by Beorht witnessing the downed Autobots outside the castle walls. Blackthorne and Aetheling inform him that without energy their allies will be goners, though Starscream laughs at the idea of magic actually being any good. Beorht proves that wrong by summoning some lightning from the sky and zapping it into the Autobot carcasses, rejuvenating them with life!


Starscream is a bit bummed by this, and demands his underlings to get the generator up and running again so they can be on par with their enemies. However, since Warpath and Hoist can transform again, they leap over the moat, ram their way into the castle, deploy a tow line to round up all the Decepticons against the generator, and then fling said generator towards Starscream, clobbering the whole lot of them.


The battle sorted and the Decepticons rounded up, Blackthorne uses a piece of stray gold wire to give Nimue a ring, while Hoist ponders if it's possible to return to their own time. Since they arrived from there, they all pop on over to the Dragon Mound and see if it'll work again, which was a time travelling device Beorht himself made. However, it got its name due to a wandering dragon using it as a home, though they didn't see it earlier because it was off visiting relatives. The problem is, it's here now!


It sets about attempting to burninate the countryside and the peasants before it, though Beorht, ever the convenient ally, has a bag of Dragon's Bane on him, which happens to also be gunpowder. Further convenience! Starscream's still doubtful, but one quick ignition from the beast's flame causes the bag to explode and send it flying off again. Hoist and Warpath supply each other with hand slaps.


The group finally make it back, and just after they wonder if they're really back for reals this time, Megatron opens fire on the Autobots, prompting Starscream to tackle him, almost joyous to see his allies once more. This gives the Autobots the opportunity to make themselves scarce, and make Megatron very angry for having an easy attempt to blast his foes quashed by an emotional underling. Poor Megs.

King Arthur isn't actually seen in the episode. Go figure!