Agent Tau (who's a robot. Don't expect to see that explained at all!) meets up with his fellow officers upon hearing grisly news, and asks his partner Agent Smith (no relation) for the 411. "Words cannot express the slaughter here," he replies, and they drive down to the scene of the crime; a witness has been questioned but apparently all they got out of her was some babbling about "zombies and creatures."
Da chief believes this massacre to be the work of "terrorists" and notes that the same kind of slaughter has happened in Brazil as well, so he wants them to go there undercover. Rather than providing any kind of official written dossier on what to expect, what their masquerade should be or other such vital information, he just tells them it right in the middle of the street, and then leads them to the scene of the slaughter, which hasn't got any kind of police tape or anything. Our professional law enforcement, ladies and gentlemen!
On the plane journey, Tau can barely hold in
his excitement - sure, they've got a massacring, psychopathic terrorist
organisation to take down, but dude, they're visiting Brazil!
The two land in Brazil and mosey about with the other tourists briefly before deciding to go exploring. This is the only evidence that Tau actually bothered with his undercover role as a taxi driver.
After four hours of searching, you can tell
that the director just got bored with the glacial pacing and the characters
begin dropping f-bombs, quite unhappy with how they've wasted so much time just
wandering around. Eager to get a change of pace, the two agents begin exploring
a nearby cave... and find nothing after hours of searching.
Until a zombie rises from a pit! A strange purple individual shoots it and urges the two to get out - the cave is infested with monsters! Then a knight charges in out of nowhere and shoves him down a pit. Tau is not impressed.
Smith dashes to another chamber and picks off two veeeeeery slowly advancing skeleton zombies...
Only for the big daddy of skeleton zombies to appear (or to be precise, the "big skeleton dude thingy")! Tau proves his superiority by blasting it with a grenade, and the two haul their asses out of there, but not before leaving behind a nuke. Thanks for irradiating half of Brazil, assholes.
The two race back home to the chief's office to fill him on what they encountered; despite the cave/terrorist base was nuked, there's still some monster maulings going on locally, so there must be one of the beasts left. The two believe there's no choice but to explore the entire city, starting with the shopping centre...
... and despite the fact the chief offered them more officers to help in the search and killing whatever monster is left, the two explore all the shops themselves. Tau checks the food court and shoots a chef ("That'll learn ya to never point a gun at a cop!"), and when a robot policewoman investigates, he macks on her. Our law enforcement, ladies and gentlemen!
Agent Smith tells a bystander (the only
bystander, for that matter) to leave, which you'd think would be the first thing
they'd do in an investigation like this. Suddenly, the final monster (a knight)
walks right in and grows to an enormous size, scaring the crap out of the poor
sap and causing him to run straight into a door. Smith flees...
While Tau strolls in, picks up the monster
and hurls it right through the roof of the building. Smith is astonished, while
the lady robot cop clings to him in admiration. "How did you do that?" "Oh,
The knight, now at normal size, lies broken in the streets, and a rat scurries out of the wreckage, cursing the law enforcement for their crazy ability to pick things up with ease.
Tell me, what did Agent Smith actually do?
You can download the original .3mm file here, or you can just watch it on YouTube like a boring person.