Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons

The Mysterons


"The finger is on the trigger. About to unleash a force with terrible powers, beyond the comprehension of Man. This force we shall know as... the Mysterons."


What dat noise


These bullets aren't doin' shit


Now I'm dead


Starring Captain Scarlet

"This man will be our hero, for fate will make him indestructible. His name: Captain Scarlet."

This show is awesome.


MARS-2068 A.D.

The story kicks off on Mars in the year 2068 A.D. with an exploration vehicle doing a search, and inside are three men from Earth: Captain Black and two unimportant dudes. As usual, their search for signals they monitored at Spectrum (their base) has gone fruitless, so one of the crew suggests they just head back to Earth, but Black suggests that they go over one more ridge before heading home.

One of the crewmen's accents overwhelms their excitement at finding a city in space on Mars, and inside one of the structures we see all kinds of colourful representations of alien technology while a booming voice, a Mysteron, acknowledges the curiosity others have of their city, and a telescope is set into place to get a closer look at their visitors.


Black knows they've been spotted and fears that these aliens are going to attack them, and after a quick pondering over of the matter of whether these aliens are friendly or not, fires a selection of missiles that level the entire city. And after destroying a civilisation of alien life, they pop on their space suits to survey the wreckage and get a few samples. All in a day's work!


Before they can do that, another scope of sorts rises and fires a blue ray towards the city, though Black orders that they shut down radio signals and wait to see what happens, soon realising that it's a reconstruction beam! The voice begins speaking to them, claiming that they are a peaceful race, but for their arrogant act of aggression, mankind will pay, and sets out explaining the adjectives they will apply to this revenge. And their first act in this diabolical scheme?


Taking control of Captain Black and making him assassinate the world president.

We then pop over to Spectrum Cloudbase, where Colonel White commands Lieutenant Green to dispatch their female fighter jet pilot people, Destiny, Harmony and Rhapsody Angel, and they get to their jets in typical Gerry Anderson fashion, in which they sit in elevator seats that rise all the way to their planes on the runway, instead of actually having to walk. Physical activity will be a thing of the past in sixty years, apparently.


Captain Scarlet and Captain Brown are then contacted on their way to meet up with the world president and escort him to a building of maximum security, Scarlet being told to return to Cloudbase while Brown is put in command of the escorting operation. They then begin discussing the aliens that screwed up the Mars exhibition, saying what a bother it is facing something that's isn't "tangible or in three dimensions," and how even though their voices can only be heard over radios, Scarlet has a feeling they're with them all the time.


After some wacky colour cycling, a tyre bursts and sends their car careening off a cliff, exploding rather messily and killing both occupants, though they're still in recognisable condition. Talk about miracles! Scarlet's corpse is then dragged aside by an unseen recipient, where the camera then pans up to reveal it was...


Captain Scarlet himself!?


This Mysteron impostor of Scarlet reports to Cloudbase with the mission of protecting the president still going as planned, roads cleared and guards placed and all that jazz. Captain Brown (zomg!) is then seen in the car with the president, things still going as planned, and points out all the security precautions to him as the Angels fly overhead, eventually arriving safely at the aptly titled building.


Brown and the president go through the 2068 equivalent of airport security, where they step through a scanner that checks for any weapons stored on their person while guys with huge laser cannons point at them. The president gets through safely, of course, but alarm bells ring for Brown, only to reveal that cigarettes are considered weapons in the future. With the scan finished, they proceed up to their chamber.

Featuring a swanky deco, the president reveals that there still aren't any new or good board games in 2068 while expressing concern towards a panel on the wall, though the Spectrum agent just states it to be an electronic eye that watches their every move. The president explains he has no worries with Spectrum looking after him, but Brown remains silent and unmoving. And then smoking. And then catching fire. And then


Jesus Christ

The Angels report this to Cloudbase, though the president shows up unharmed there for Colonel White to issue a new maximum security building for him to stay in, while also replaying the electronic eye's video that showed him escaping through a panel in the wall before Brown went kaboom. Although suggested that Brown could've been part of an assassination plot, White claims he was one of his finest men before explaining that things have been getting pretty nutty since the Mars exhibition, along with Captain Black's disappearance since his return.


Scarlet is then put in charge of escorting the president to London with the Angels overseeing things, but Lieutenant Green is reported to about Brown's body being found at the car crash from earlier, and thus White believes that the one who blowed himself up real good was an impostor. He's then reminded that Scarlet was also in the car crash, meaning that the same impostor dealy could have happened to him as well!


The Angels are commanded to escort Scarlet back to Cloudbase, but the Captain doesn't respond, so White tries the crazy idea of telling Destiny Angel to fire upon Scarlet's plane but not to hit it, which doesn't work either. Even the president tries to contact Cloudbase himself, but is given a fat lip before he can finish his plea for help. Shit's hitting the fan!


Scarlet ejects himself and the president before parachuting safely to a field, where he takes him at gunpoint into a vehicle and makes a getaway. The sole nearby Spectrum agent is ordered to give chase, and that happens to be Captain Blue, who orders the agent in a filling station to prepare the Spectrum Pursuit Vehicle for him, and doing so in such a way that mentions what makes it so nutty. He also blows up a truck to make it's entrance!


While Blue and the Angels continue the chase, Rhapsody Angel is then ordered to skip ahead and destroy a bridge to hinder Scarlet's progress, but the sneaky villain just takes another path and heads towards the ludicrous Car-Vu, despite the fact that a Spectrum helicopter has also been dispatched to ensure his capture or disabling. What the not-impostor Spectrum agents don't know is that the helicopter is also controlled by the Mysterons!


Arriving at the top, Scarlet is then relayed information by Captain Black who's sitting in a nearby warehouse, explaining that the helicopter will collect him and the president and make a getaway, with the reminder that the president must be taken alive. Blue arrives to spy Scarlet sitting in a girder supporting an unnecessary satellite with the president, and commands the helicopter to shoot Scarlet while trying to not kill the president, unaware of what I've just pointed out in the last paragraph.


Captain Blue dons a jetpack while leaving the helicopter to attack Scarlet first what with the better cover it has, only for him to be shot at by the Mysteron controlled contraption, so the Angels are ordered to take it down. Blue hides beneath the Car-Vu platform while the Angels make their attack...


Which turns out to be an unwise decision as the downed chopper putters down and crashes into the tower, causing the balance and structure (if any) to screw up and leave Scarlet and his hostage in an even worse situation. The crazy fool doesn't give up, though, and continues firing upon Blue, who then begins firing back.


Scarlet is struck! And in a really creepy moment, screams and falls eight hundred feet down from the girder, all accompanied with that creepy horn music the series loves so much.


Captain Blue picks up the president before the Car-Vu collapses entirely, showing fairly well that top-heavy structures are just plain stupid, and the world president is made safe once again. Back at Cloudbase, today's fight against the Mysterons is considered a success, and the Captain Scarlet that fell eight hundred feet was accurately identified as Scarlet, but most amazing was his quick recovery from his ludicrous injury and his original not-Mysteron thoughts returning. This, in turn, leaves Spectrum with an apparently indestructible agent in their hands, and quite possibly the greatest asset they'll get in the war against the Mysterons!


Executive Produer: Gerry Anderson

And then he gets into all kinds of crazy shit during the credits.

Just so you know, none of the stuff seen in the credits actually happens, ever.


I know that skyscrapers are hip to have in the future, but honestly, somebody should've known that building a car park atop an eight hundred foot tower with minimal support was a bad idea, even without helicopters crashing into it.


Not actually related to the episode at all, but...

Associate Producer: John Read

This image in the credits depicts Scarlet falling to his death, which isn't anything new, but when I was a kid I thought it featured a leg growing out of his chest. Since the close-up involving Scarlet's shocked expression rather than the real danger (the fact that streets aren't exactly soft), that's probably why I thought as such.