G.I. Joe: The Movie
The best part is at
the beginning, with one of the most ass-kickingly awesome intros you will ever see in a movie. There's a celebration at the statue of liberty with a light show, balloons and fireworks but Cobra arrive to gate crash the party and start wrecking the place. There's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, panic spreading far and wide, who can turn the tide?
The Joes arrive at the statue and start to fight against the Cobra forces, and soon enough Cobra's troops are beaten down. Back up on the Cobra ship Destro gives Cobra Commander a time bomb to blow up the statue and he heads out to plant it in a jet glider as the battle down below continues. Meanwhile Destro, Baroness, Tomax and Xabot head out to join the battle.
Cobra Commander successfully plants the bomb but his glider is destroyed. The Joes continue the fight and start to overwhelm Cobra's forces as Duke takes the bomb back up to the Cobra ship with less than ten seconds before it explodes.
Duke reaches the ship and replants the bomb on the bottom of it and flies off just as the bomb detonates and completely destroys the ship. Cobra Commander orders for all to retreat as Duke takes an American flag and heads up to the top of the statue to wave it as all of the other Joes join him.
Later on that night at the Cobra HQ, Serpentor is extremely angry with his forces as they have the power to destroy G.I. Joe but have been failing time after time. He questions Cobra Commander's leadership skills and the two of them get into an argument over who is the better leader but Cobra Commander's own troops turn against him and say that he is a terrible commander.
As the leaders argue inside, something rises out of the river and reveals a figure in a black cloak, who gets out of the object and runs toward the base. Soon, the figure starts to break through all of the bases' exterior security and gets inside, taking on and beating any of the Cobra soldiers it meets. An alarm goes off and Cobra Commander says an assassin must be here to kill Serpentor, so he leaders everyone else out to find and kill the assassin as Serpentor remains behind in his throne room.
However Cobra Commander just wants the assassin to get to Serpentor and deliberately leads his troops the wrong way. The figure continues to make it through the base and reaches Serpentor's room. Serpentor is about to fight the intruder himself but the figure then says that that won't be necessary. Serpentor recognises the figure, who reveals herself. Pythona is her name and she says that she is part of his destiny.
Pythona tells Serpentor that it's time for him to fulfill his destiny and shows him a hologram of a machine called the "Broadcast Energy Transmitter". Later on we see a group of Joes in the Himalayas, where they just happen to be putting the finishing touches to the B.E.T. machine. The machine will be able to create large amounts of energy easily and their mission is to test it.
Duke turns on the B.E.T. and it works, with energy being drawn into it. An unexpected side-effect then happens as the sudden burst of energy turns on several G.I. Joe vehicles, and Cross Country's Havoc moves off by itself as he chases after it. He soon comes running back though as Cobra are in the area!
The Joes aren't prepared to defend straight away any many of their vehicles are blown up. Not all of them are however and soon the Joes start to fight back and they notice how Cobra must be going after the B.E.T. as they aren't shooting at it.
Duke powers up the B.E.T. again to send out all of their missile launchers against the Cobra troops. The missiles launch and most of the Cobra equipment is destroyed in the resulting explosions. Serpentor is desperate to get the B.E.T. as Pythona ordered him to so he heads over to it and starts to fight Duke. Baroness sees this and tells Cobra Commander that they need to help him, but he says they'll go do that when he orders them to.
Serpentor has the upper hand in the fight at first and is about to finish Duke off when he gets thrown straight into the B.E.T.'s still turned on transmitter dish, electrocuting him instantly and whilst he's still alive, he is defeated. Baroness wants to help him but instead Cobra Commander gives the order to retreat and the Cobra forces pull out, leaving their leader behind.
With Cobra on the retreat and Serpentor in their hands, Duke splits up the Joes with Roadblock leading one group to go after Cobra whilst the rest stay behind to take Serpentor and the B.E.T. away since it's been proven to work. Meanwhile Cobra Commander is taking the Cobra force to sanctuary through a heavy snow storm when...
...Roadblock's team catch up with them and open fire. Cobra Commander leads his force into a cavern where they find weird looking structures and Cobra Commander says that they will be safe here. But the Joes once again catch up and start to smash all of Cobra's vehicles whilst wondering what this strange place they've been led to is.
But as the Joes continue their attack a winged human smashes out of the ground and several new soldiers appear armed with swords who have tremendous strength. Soon the Joes are defeated and Cobra Commander congratulates Nemesis Enforcer for a job well done, who returns the compliment by slapping him in the face. The other Cobras don't understand what's going on but then...
...Pythona appears and basically tells Cobra Commander that he's in a lot of trouble for his failings, and has Nemesis Enforcer take him away. She then turns her attention to the Dreadnoks and tell them that they must go out and rescue Serpentor from the Joes. They don't want to go as it means heading straight towards the Joes' main base but after being offered a large jewel for their troubles they reconsider.
At the Joe's base Duke says that they haven't had any kind of contact from Roadblock's unit for 24 hours and that their base is most likely going to be attacked sometime in the near future as they have both Serpentor and the B.E.T. and Cobra will want them both. But with Roadblock and his unit missing they are severely undermanned to repel an attack so Flint takes a small unit to go and find Roadblock's group. Meanwhile Beachhead brings together six new recruits - Chuckles, Tunnel Rat, Big Lob, Jinx and Law. However one of the recruits isn't present and no-one knows where he is.
Beachhead shows Big Lob and Tunnel Rat a challenge for them to complete - all they have to do is get from one side of an assault course to the other and ring the large bell at the end. Both of them start the course and Beachhead sets off many obstacles by remote control such as blowing parts of the floor up, but Big Lob gets past everything and Tunnel Rat avoids most of the obstacles entirely by crawling through a drain pipe from one end of the course to the other.
Law is the next guy to be given a test and Beachhead tells him that there's a bomb hidden somewhere in the building which will explode within the next minute and a half. But instead of Law being the one to carry this test out he gets his dog Order (get it? Law and Order! HAHA) to find it, who retrieves the device quickly, but he keeps bringing it back to them when they try to throw it. Law throws is one more time and it explodes in the air.
Chuckles is next up and his test is to destroy a Cobra tank before it destroys him. But he isn't happy with using a targeting computer to attack the tank after he
misfires and instead climbs out, rips a rocket off the vehicle and then charges straight towards the enemy tank before throwing the missiles right at it, destroying it instantly.
Jinx is later alone in a gym where she was supposed to be sparring with the missing new recruit but he didn't turn up, so instead Beachhead takes her on. After being knocked down once, Jinx gets up, blindfolds herself and then spars with Beachhead again and knocks him over, showing Beachhead that she isn't as weak as he thought she was.
We then finally get to see the missing recruit, Lt. Falcon, who is taking his date Heather around the base and shows her where they are keeping Serpentor. Before they can actually go inside the prison area though Duke shows up and tells Falcon to get her out of here as no visitors are permitted and Jinx forces her out.
Heather drives off towards a lake where she reveals that she isn't who she seems, and is actually Zarana, one of the Dreadnoks. She meets up with the rest of the Dreadnoks and gives Zartan one of her earrings which contained a hidden camera. She recorded what she saw during her time at the base and they can use this information to sneak in and free Serpentor. Pythona and Nemesis Enforcer appear and congratulate Zarana on a job well done and tell them that they must go and free Serpentor tonight.
The fight between the Joes and Cobra in New York was originally suppose to happen at the end of the movie rather than the start.
Most of the music used in this movie should be recognised by Transformers fans, as the vast majority of it has been taken from the Transformer's third season. It's been said that if the G.I. Joe movie had a theatrical release in cinemas, a proper new musical score would have been created for it, but since it wasn't they just took the cheaper route of using music already available.
During the fight between the Joes and Cobra in the Himalayas, at one point you can hear TIE fighter engine noises, but you can also hear Darth Vader's breathing too! It only lasts for a second but it's really easy to hear it. The sound effects for the movie mostly just used stock effects and whoever recorded that one in particular did a bad job. Incidentally the exact same thing happened in an episode of Transformers.