you've followed the site's oddball trek from varied content to just video games
to primarily cartoons to action figure rants and then onto talking about things
nobody cares about (my life!), then you're sure to know of my love for all
things Bomberman. I've got a heap of the games, made far too many
walkthroughs than necessary for such a simple series, tried to watch the
cartoon, and even have a bunch of the Bomberman B-Daman figures from the
1990s, imported from Malaysia! It's safe to say that throwing me in a crazy
house would be totally ethical.
exactly I love the series, however, isn't exactly something I can understand. My
appreciation of the Mega Man series stems from it's simplicity and how it
rigidly sticks to tradition, a sequel that makes a radical departure kind of
automatically becoming crap, unlike the likes of the Mario series where
they can barely just keep the same concept and fine-tune it a bit. Obligatory
mention of Transformers and my love of it is more to do with my generic
love of robots and robots that may as well act like humans, and turning into a
toaster only makes it more awesome. But Bomberman? The mothertruck just
has the same gameplay in every game and yet it's constantly hit or miss.
first Bomberman game is ass because it's just the same looking levels
done over and over with an occasional new enemy, sometimes with a gimmick,
sometimes not, and nothing really changes. On the contrary, Bomberman Quest
features ludicrously simple puzzles that barely add a thing (jump over a pit!)
and the enemies only sometimes have gimmicks, yet I love it a million times
more. Bomberman 64 and Bomberman Generation are roughly the same
puzzle/exploration style gameplay, yet the latter I can only play in
multi-player without dying of death or boredom. Super Bomberman 2 is no
different than the rest in it's series, yet I can barely play it without
screaming obscenities and becoming a hazard to those around me. Put a game in
front of me and it's an opinionated roulette of mystery!
worst part is, the first game's crappy kill-all-enemies gameplay has been
recycled over and over, and while the likes of Bomberman Quest actually
make it fun a lot of games don't even bother with improving in any way, and
Bomberman GB could almost be seen as making it worse.
You're given a large playing field, as typical with first game imitators, though
instead of varied enemies you merely fight other Bombermen in rounds of three;
win two, and you'll progress to the next segment with another enemy added to the
rank, and this continues until you're facing three other Bombermen. After that,
the three merge to form a boss, which will grant you a power-up upon defeat and
move you onto the next stage, which then have wacky gimmicks from then on like
In concept, this doesn't sound too bad. The battle mode is always more engaging
than single-player, even when facing computers, so you'd expect some kind of
intelligence from them, wouldn't you?
These guys have degrees in stupidology. They'll happily stand in the way of an
explosion, trap themselves behind their own explosives, avoid taking evasive
action and even blow up their comrades. I'm not even talking
style where they try and take you down as well, I'm saying these guys are just
plain stupid. Or depressed. Either or.
first game had no bosses whatsoever, so having some is at least a nice addition,
even if they are particularly frustrating and are pretty cheap when it comes to
attacking, meaning they're the most challenge the game ever provides. However,
the primary problem with these guys is that they are the only way to get
permanent items; you can pick up a whopping three items during a match, Bombs,
Flames and Skulls, but they're lost after every round and only what bosses grant
you are stored for good, but they're just things like kick shoes or a stunning
ram or whatever. Nice to have, yes, but a forever-lasting long explosion would
just make things less tedious, y'know.
those wacky gimmicks? They barely add a thing to the game, and thanks to the
outright shallowness of it all with the lack of items and whatnot, it all seems
very empty. The most interesting addition the game has is the last item you
obtain: The Moto, a badass motorbike that doesn't make you move any faster or
provide an extra hit like the Louies, but it does allow you to hop other hard
blocks, which allows battles to end a lot quicker, thankfully. Sadly, that sole
item can't make up for this being one of the blandest Bomberman games
available, and it's a good thing it never made a release outside of Japan.
For whatever reason, not only was one of the most dire games in the series given
a localisation, but it was given special treatment in doing so. Special
treatment in the form of a Wario
what should be a crime against everything ever, this crappy, should-be-forgotten
game got Wario as a starring role, yet with no other improvements. You can
select between Wario and Bomberman,
the ending is slightly different, the
Super Game Boy border has a measly
addition, and that's it.
That's all that's been changed.
They had the perfect opportunity to perhaps fix the game; not that anything was
broken, but it kind of completely sucked; and they missed it. And they put Wario
the original game was shallow enough to barely warrant five paragraphs rambling
about it, it means that one can't really say much more about the game other than
how those are the only changes and how it's still fifty kinds of terrible even
with a radical crossover. Because, come on, perfect opportunity for awesome!
So instead of repeating that last sentence in as many ways as my vocabulary can
handle, let's see how things could have been if that crossover was used for
something more deserving.
Say if they added Wario to Super
Not only would that add a 2-Player mode to
the main game, but it would also make the game easier, less frustrating, more
fun, and having the wacky concept of Bomberman and Wario working together to
stop the Five Dastardly Bombers!
And I admit that's all I can think of, but
since that game is actually a good one hindered by it's flaws rather than a
boring one made easy to loathe with it's special treatment and overall shoddy
quality, it's more than enough thought I should give it.