General Writings
I like to write!
No, seriously, I like to write. It's a passion of mine. Mostly because it's a way of expressing words without necessarily having to pronounce them verbally, meaning I can create idiotically long run-on sentences with as many discombobulating words as I darn well want in a grandiose way of conveying an opinion or story.
It's also because I like to tell people about things. Mostly video games and how a lot of them aren't very good.
| Media Love | Oddities + Observations | Video Game Highlights | Rants & Reviews | Other Whatnots |
Dedicated sections of respect to games and other media, usually with more attention to detail than a regular ol' page.
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Ragey's Totally Bombastic Bomberman Shrine Place I'm a little bit crazy about the franchise, it's only a wonder it took this long to get around to it. September 2009
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Captain America and the Avengers walkthrough Mostly just repeated statements of "use aerial attacks," but it's got a bit on console ports. October 2006
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Heiankyo Alien maps It's hard to provide any informative hints when the game can be won by surrounding yourself with holes. May 2007
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Metal Slug Advance walkthrough A walkthrough by Galvatron and an extension to Metal Slug: Missing in Action. How jolly! June 2007
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Puchi Carat Palace Love gushing for a puzzle game with little to no regard about its actual gameplay. Kooky! June 2008
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The Red Dwarf section In-depth analysis-style reviews about a show wherein a dead guy frequently reaching fourth base. You heard me. September 2009
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Spin Master walkthrough Awesome game. Hard to adequately make a walkthrough of without just saying "shoot the bad guys," though. September 2007
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Not exactly an accurate title; this covers anything and everything, really. Mostly attempts to be vaguely humourous in the slightest degree.
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50.Grind's Gotta Catch 'Em All The Zelda Rap may be definitive of 80s video gaming, but take a gander at this little beaut. August 2007
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An Ideal Human "Playing God is never a pretty sight." April 2007
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Bad Eater The Man! A look at one of my crazy creations in 3D Movie Maker from the years of dinosaurs. October 2006
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Bad Eatter [sic] The Man 2! The sequel from the time of knights, now very creationist. December 2006
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Batman vs. Tarzan Proof that Random Hoo Haas is now just about whatever stupid Nintendo merchandise I find in the garage. June 2010
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The Bread Man Depressing and badly written poem. I'm more a dirty limerick man. February 2007
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The Cassette Boy I'm not sure how something I found in the garage prompted an article as stupid as this. April 2010
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Crocodile Man Adventures 1: The Museum Guest-starring Grandad and Crazy Uncle Lester, plus the creatures of Africa. November 2006
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final fighantsy script.txt Proof that my brother is clinically insane and I should stop being his lackey. March 2007
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Finishing the Legend of Zelda Step-by-step progress on how to fail miserably on a game everybody else doesn't fail at. March 2008
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Greenland is shitty Actually about crazy childhood education, believe it or not! August 2007
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How the Classic Controller broke my heart And why I will never love third party peripherals again. April 2010
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I AM ERROR. YOU ARE GLUE. Education about unfounded internet memes! July 2009
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I ♥ Lizardon How a fame-seeking monster-stacking purple reptile stole my heart. February 2007
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I ♥ Octoman Why I love that thong-wearing little squid racer. July 2006
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I ♥ Tracy A love page for a character that isn't an obscure cartoon creature? It happened. August 2009
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THE KID RHINO RHINO MUST DIE Sometimes cartoon animal mascots just don't work, y'know. July 2009
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Love & Monsters: A story to fit every taste An impromptu doodle story with Invader Mar! July 2006
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Making sense of random battles That isn't achieved at all. Instead I draw dinosaurs biting people's crotches. February 2008
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The Melting Pot Snowboard Killers. Snowboard Killers. By Galvatron. November 2006
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Nintendo All-Star Battle Cards Ever wanted to know Timber's exact height in centimetres, or his approximate power level? Find out inside! December 2009
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Optimus Prime's mouth - revealed! Animation errors are a bitch. April 2009
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Othello is terrible The game, not the Shakespeare play. Great title screen, though. May 2007
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Primary school Pirate Voyage Prehistoric era written pirate story. Looks at my shitty writing when it was shittier! January 2007
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Tales of the Nintendo 64 I just can't get enough of retelling these personal stories. Will anyone care? Read to find out! March 2007
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Tart Top is the worst The folly of Mario Kart DS. July 2007
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Tony the Tiger: 2nd Class Villain in 1st Class Post Wherein I make more complaints about breakfast than jabs at the story. November 2008
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Unfinished Works (vol. 1) Updates reach an all-time low. May 2007
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Unfinished Works (vol. 2) More of the same, except longer! July 2010
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Welcome to the dead place PS2 croaks, and I'm guilty. Movie at eleven. May 2007
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Who is McZee? A vaguely investigative story into someone nobody cares about. January 2010
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Why Mega Man - The Power series rules Ten reasons justifying why they totally rock and should get sequels. December 2006
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Wicket - the deadliest force in the galaxy Just how many things can one little Ewok decimate? (A tenth, if you abide the proper definition of the word.) May 2009
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Not review-y enough to be a review, but not enough love gushing to be a fully-fledged media love section. And also just here for the simple purpose of making the Oddities & Observations section less bloated.
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64th Street - A Detective Story Forget all these new mystery solving games, this is one that uses the best interrogative tool of all: Your fists. February 2008
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Bomberman GB Obscure game information of a game people know? It happened. October 2007
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Chelnov - Atomic Runner One of those games that you want to love but the frequent deaths try to quash any affection for it. June 2008
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Dark Tower I'll come in when I damn well want to. February 2010
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Diet Go Go! Intended to be humourous and such-like, but dwindled into mindless ranting. Has a cameo from Chelnov. May 2007
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Ganbare Ginkun - Action Minigame Shuu This game features a giant killer shoe. A giant killer high-heeled shoe. November 2007
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Godzilla GB Not what you expect it to be, both in gameplay and what it started as! January 2008
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Hanna-Barbera's Turbo Toons You've got to admire the concept, though. February 2009
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Jail Break Let the hostages go. Oh no! April 2009
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Kung-Fu Master Hours of kicking-people-in-the-face fun! Okay, ten minutes at the most. November 2009
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Saturn Bomberman Fight!! Obscure game information, as well as the scanned manual. September 2006
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Shadows of the Empire A quickie! Five reasons why it rocks and also scared the dickens out of me. November 2007
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The Speed Rumbler Instant death? Instant death! Also I swear I've had the barebones of this sitting around since 2006. Me lazy. February 2010
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12 reasons why Super Mario Land is pretty rad Just in case my writing wasn't lazy enough. March 2010
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Tasmania Story All kinds of wacky comparisons in an attempt to understand just how the hell to define this game. Also mice. May 2008
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Taz-Mania: Two crappy games Water isn't the only thing Taz hates. Taz hate low-quality licensed video games! May 2006
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Thomas the Tank Engine: The video game It's not that fantastic. Both the game and the rambling, that is. August 2008
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Wherein I attempt to make a statement. Usually involving lots of swear words.
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Action Master Blaster Expressing love to a toyline that just about everyone reviles? Must be sacrilege. December 2007
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CT Special Forces Hardcore Gaming 101 style look-at. July 2007
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Dinosaur warrior Dinosaur Bot POWERFUL Get a new toy and only review it several weeks after getting it. Am I a terrible person? October 2007
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HALO SUX LOL You hear it all the time, and now Galvatron and I say the same! It's not much new, really. May 2007
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Let's Talk Metal Slug (with Galvatron!) A bit like Ebert and Siskel, except I've never seen that outside of the parody on The Simpsons. November 2006
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Mario Party Mini-Game reviews Exactly what it says there. No pictures, though. December 2006
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Mega Man III (Game Boy) A whole two paragraphs on the game, really. The rest is about expansion packs! December 2007
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Metal Slug Advance A list of bullet points detailing why the game makes me sad and got me temporarily hated at the MSDB. December 2005
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New Super Mario Bros. mini-games Bitching and whining about the flaws of the DS! And maybe some reviews. January 2007
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Pink Goes To Hollywood A licensed video game that's not very good? Shock of the century! March 2009
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Plasma Tech Bogkov Rubber-like Transformers rip-offs that don't even transform. And I like them? Blasphemy! August 2008
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Quick Man - The Jazwares Action Figure A toy based off a Japanese video game, and it isn't an immobile statuette? Dubious enquiry! June 2009
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Realm of the Dead It's not very good! April 2007
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Robot Masters 01 - G1 Convoy Double whammy! A review of the real deal and an inflated bootleg. February 2008
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Some games I played in 2009 What games reduced me to frothing, swearing wrecks that year? January 2010
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Sonic Advance 2 All but the first game in the Advance series are duds. Nagging! December 2005
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The State of the GBA market (the negative) The Game Boy Advance's library stinks. December 2005
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The State of the GBA market (the positive) The Game Boy Advance's library isn't all that bad. June 2006
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Steve Irwin - Xtreme Machine Holy wow. May 2009
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Super Mario 64 DS It's bad enough on it's own, but then you learn it once had co-operative multi-player and all hell breaks loose! February 2006
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Super Mario World Totally over the top love story from Steve. January 2007
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Titanium Soundwave Filled with flaws and drawbacks, but I try and reason with it. Mostly because I got it for £6. December 2007
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Tranx Fighers Planet Fighter Tyrannobot It's not quite a redeco but not quite a retool either! And I ramble a lot. January 2008
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Video reviews A format that should be great becomes misused. Cue a complaint! June 2008
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Stuff I can't fit in anywhere else.
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Jungle Panda (in collaboration with Scary-Crayon!) Forget the panda, watch out for that frickin' snake! June 2009
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