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ONM Remembered – #302

“We tell it like it is!”







from Official Nintendo Magazine issue 69 (June 1998)
(page 52 is omitted, as it was featured in ONM Remembered #91)

Ah, Total Test. ONM’s index of every single game released for the N64 in Europe (if not, it sure felt that way!), complete with a summarised review, score, as well as whatever bits and bobs they could throw in: memory card reviews, controller reviews, top 5 lists, recommendations, stupid jokes…
It’s pretty dorky, but this was one of my favourite features of the mag. Sure, the content remained the same for darn near every issue, but it was always exciting to scour it in hopes of new games gracing its pages! And, well, I don’t think I need to repeat my love for looking at dumb old controllers. Why hasn’t anyone made a Gamepads Of The ’90s pin-up calendar yet? Is this another project I’m going to have to take on myself?!

Sadly, they only ever did this for the N64. They offered a very limited version of it for the Game Boy Color when it was big, but it was never a consistent feature. In the GameCube era they chose to only spotlight the twenty-odd “worthwhile” games, which did allow for chunkier reviews…
… but what’s the point? Knowing the list was so comprehensive was part of the appeal! Even if you didn’t care what the review said, it was always interesting to see that these game simply existed. How else would anyone have heard of Charlie’s Blast Works? It only got a 68%, but the name alone has me intrigued!

This week is Total Test Week, wherein I spam the game indexes from various Nintendo magazines of the time, because spacing them out otherwise would be torture. And it’s neat seeing all the varying styles of graphic design, right? RIGHT?
(that excuse has worked for me once before and i’ll abuse it at every chance i can get)