ONM Remembered – #284

Saturday, June 6, 2015 at 11:00 am Comments Off on ONM Remembered – #284

“The game looks very much like The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, except all the interesting stuff’s been taken out and replaced by ants.”

from Official Nintendo Magazine issue 07 (September 2006)

The review begins by saying it’s this issue’s token rubbish game review. What can I possibly add to that?
The screenshots do look quite pretty and evoke The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap a tad, but it’s disappointing to see such visual talent put into a game for The freakin’ Ant Bully. In fact, giving the game a two-page spread only gives me more time to pore over it and wonder if there’s any merit to be found in it. Sure, the review straight up says it isn’t worth your time, but saying that after two pages of tempting screenshots feels a little counterintuitive.

I’ve asked it before and I’ll ask it again: does this movie have fans? Is there anyone who thinks on The Ant Bully and goes, yeah, that was a really terrific use of my time and the people who made it? I forgot I even watched the movie five years ago. Apparently I said it wasn’t even that bad! But every time I hear that title I just go, for fuck’s sake, could they not have thought of anything better? The Bug-Sized Bully? Call it anything, so long as it isn’t The Ant Bully, for the mercy’s sake!

Lastly: very convincing drop-shadow, lads.

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