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ONM Remembered – #276

“Pikachu never dies!”

from official Nintendo Magazine issue 95 (August 2000)

I was just prepared to make all kinds of cracks about the “Your friend for life” tagline and how Tamagotchis are practically a parade of cruel and unusual death… and then I read that bulletpoint in the bottom and my long list of jokes were squandered. SQUANDERED, I tell you!

I’ve met a few Pokémaniacs who would kill for the chance to have a real-life Pokémon to dote over, and I’m a little surprised that even all these years later, a Tamagotchi knockoff is the closest we’ve ever come. Well, that and the Doki Doki Poké Shinpan mini-game in X and Y, I suppose. Surely I’m not the only one who thinks a battery-operated Charmander that sets your kitchen on fire would be a real wing-dinger of a product, right? Get on it, AIBO! I don’t care that it’s twenty years after anyone would care!