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ONM Remembered – Never Reached The Shelves Week, day 7


from 64 Magazine volume 9 (1998)

Conker’s Twelve Tales! The story of the little game that nobody took seriously, so it started drinking and cursing and vomiting and now EVERYONE LOVES THE SHIT OUT OF IT.

When you hear about Twelve Tales‘ conversion into Conker’s Bad Fur Day, one foolishly assumes it was a rather basic conversion process. Drop that jumping puzzle, switch it with some bad language, replace the cyclops with a big-dicked caveman… that sort of thing. But then you watch footage of the original game, and it really is a completely different game. It’s stunning! There’s all sorts of unique content and scenarios that goes completely unused in the final game, and one can’t help feeling a little conned when you could’ve been visiting a saloon full of cowboy cacti instead of swimming through poo-stained rotary fans a half-dozen times.

Also, more freakin’ Jest. The game that never leaves me alone!

Never Saw The Shelves Week draws to an unceremonious, if not unexpected close: me bitching about things. The regular schedule resumes on Tuesday, so you can look forward to me bitching about things in a slightly different context!