ONM Remembered – Never Reached The Shelves Week, day 1

Monday, August 19, 2013 at 11:00 am Comments Off on ONM Remembered – Never Reached The Shelves Week, day 1

“Baywatch babe comes to Dolphin”

from Official Nintendo Magazine issue 92 (May 2000)

Would you believe that only half of the stuff featured in this page actually amounted to anything? (if you’ve been keeping track of this week’s theme, then yes, that might seem credible)
The featured game, Picassio, apparently hung about in development hell without actually accomplishing anything, and got canned. The concept of larking about and stealing priceless art is intriguing enough – I wanna imagine like Tomb Raider meets Bonanza Bros – but it would have needed some sharp and slick execution to make it anything memorable, I believe.

VIP, starring you know who, did not see a GameCube release… but did get a Game Boy Advance game, for all your discrete wobble-watching enjoyment. And someone out there ripped the sprites, so, you know, you could skip the game entirely and enjoy those instead.
… in hindsight, watching Baywatch on television seemed a lot more wholesome than anything we do nowadays.

Title Defence was previewed in IGN, where a big deal was made out of its unique features, including detailed injuries, a first-person view option and more, and had the gall to dismiss Ready 2 Rumble as “not really a boxing game.” Oooooh, dang! Them fighting words, son! Is Ready 2 Rumble gonna take that sittin’ down?
… who knows, because Title Defence vanished, leaving a mere three screenshots behind, and Ready 2 Rumble never got a GameCube port. Also, buddy, I’d suggest seeking more engaging means of entertainment instead of pitting two video games at each other. Game discs are very fragile, for goodness sake. If you’re going to watch something fight, get some lobsters.

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