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ONM Remembered – #131

“MY GAME WOULD MAKE MILLIONS!”


from Official Nintendo Magazine issue 58 (July 1997)

It’s the wonkiest scan in the whole damn world, but it’s worth a chuckle.

Doesn’t reading some game ideas always sound so much more appealing than what they’d actually be like? The open-ended entirety of space to explore with heaps of missions, weapons and places – it’s not what the guy’s suggesting, but it’d be like a really ungodly huge Grand Theft Auto… in space!
Except one would hope it’d have some half-decent replay value after completing all the missions. And that you could still idly explore without people gunning you down en masse. And if it were GTA in space, it’d probably want to make things “realistic” by having you fly through the entirety of goddamned space. And you’d need to slog about eighteen hours into the game before you’d get hyper speed, and that’s only if you hijack a specific ship from a specific place. Until then, you’d be stuck with dopey B-Wings that can’t steer worth shit, and there’d only be one spawn point for guns, and you probably wouldn’t have a jetpack, either.
I haven’t had a healthy relationship with Grand Theft Auto, let’s leave it at that.

Also, jeez, can you believe they were charging people £8 to play a keyring-sized dinosaur-themed Space Invaders clone? They barely even look like dinosaurs, for goodness sake.