ONM Remembered – #101

Saturday, May 25, 2013 at 11:00 am Comments Off on ONM Remembered – #101

“Rich tries to gain the psychological upper hand with an intimidating chimp impression. It doesn’t work.”


from Official Nintendo Magazine issue 95 (August 2000)

Suppose you have a friend who’s good at video games. Really, really good. So much that they are whipping your ass at everything, from Tetris Attack, to Mario Party, to Mortal Kombat, to Blast Corps – yes, even games that don’t have 2-player modes. They’re that good.
Understandably, you’re pissed. You’re a bit too pissed off to take it in stride, but not pissed off enough to start arranging for their assassination. Well, ONM has you covered – they’ll send over their top letters page answerer Rich to beat them at the game of their choice! If Rich wins, you walk home with fat stacks of prizes. if Rich loses, well, that’s two people you’ll need to dispose of. You can only hope that Murderous Derek does discounts, otherwise you’ll have lost out on this endeavour.

No, seriously, the Winner Takes All features were a good laugh. If you want to be pedantic, a lot of N64 multi-player games were just too random and chaotic to really prove your skill. It probably wasn’t quite as luck-based as Brawl, but the first Smash Bros. is pretty notorious for how wonky it is; you can forget special moves entirely and spend the whole match trying to throw people off the damn stage, those throws are mad strong. Pitching a top-tier champ like Kirby against a complete lug like D.K. is just asking for trouble.

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