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ONM Remembered – #77

“The realism is set to break football game barriers.”


from Official Nintendo Magazine issue 86 (November 1999)

“Hello. I’m Michael Owen. You might know me from football. What you don’t know is my eyeballs have the concentrated power of fourteen bulldozers. In between games of footie, I’m blast-gazing my way into bank vaults and fighting the X-Men.
Thought you’d like to know.”

For the longest time I thought this was a snooker game. I interpreted a big chunk of the black space as a black jacket, and the white bit, his uniform, as a dress shirt; y’know, like a really poncey snooker player. I must have the strangest eyes, though not as scary as Owen’s.
It’s bad enough having this as a full-page spread, but it seemed to be a popular prize in the letters pages. You wouldn’t just be seeing his bloody face staring at you next to some kid’s grand idea for a Goldeneye sequel – you’d be seeing lots of faces.
MICRO-SIZED FACES.