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ONM Remembered – #06

“He’s got to have them all!”


from official Nintendo Magazine issue 122 (November 2002)

You know what I was saying about all game ads basically being toilet or sex gags? Well, what’s the best way to advertise that we’ve got one mediocre game on all the current consoles? Have the mascot bang a bunch of chicks. PERFECT

There’s plenty wrong with this image, and it’s not just to do with how Crash is gargantuanly out of portion. It’s sleazy, it’s garish, it alienates the female reader, it’s ill-suited to the target audience (the games had moments of perversion, but nothing as overt as this!), and the art is really goddamned frightening.


PUT THOSE TEETH AWAY AAAAAA

4 Comments

  1. I remember this ad and reacting just like you to it. I think it could well be even worse than those “Randy Bandicoot” signs they did for the first game.

    Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 8:22 pm | Permalink
  2. carlmarksguy wrote:

    I’m not sure what they’re saying; it would have been handier if there was a note at the bottom of the page which reads:

    “WE’RE SAYING THAT EACH VIDEO GAME SYSTEM IS A SEXY LADY, AND CRASH BANDICOOT HAS HAD INTERCOURSE WITH EACH OF THE VIDEO GAME SYSTEMS THAT YOU OWN. (USING HIS PENIS). (IN YOUR VIDEO GAME SYSTEM).”

    Thursday, July 19, 2012 at 11:24 pm | Permalink
  3. MightyKombat wrote:

    Her teeth are frigging shiny as hell.

    Friday, July 20, 2012 at 7:41 am | Permalink
  4. Ragey wrote:

    RQ87: Aside from this one, the only ad for the series I remember was a TV commercial for Crash 3 with a brief appearance of a CGI Crash in biker gear… which doesn’t seem to be on YouTube. Bummer.
    I’ve never heard of the “Randy Bandicoot” ads, but I think I’m happy living in ignorance.

    carlmarksguy: Oh, great, now I’ve got the image of a penis with a PS2 controller plug on one end. Thank you very much.

    Friday, July 20, 2012 at 10:23 am | Permalink