BLOGTASTIC

 

29/July/2007

I saw the Transformers movie. I came expecting a Summer action movie, and that's precisely what I got! Now, if I had been expecting an actual Transformers movie, then I'd probably be a little disappointed.

Basically, I paid a ridiculous 5.50 to sit in a cinema for two hours and watch people run around with guns and try to get porked while robots also ran around with guns and tried to urinate on government workers, and watch it with other super nerds and people who wanted to see people run around with guns and try to get porked while robots also ran around with guns and tried to urinate on government workers. And when you do that, what do you need to expect?

However, a few obligatory matters that need discussing like every movie I watch.

 

The Autobots

Are actually really obnoxious, thanks in part to their goofy antics, buzzwords and generic transformations. Bumblebee is decent enough except for his lubrication urination, and Optimus Prime isn't too horrendous, but the others are just kinda terrible. Ratchet makes a crack about Sam being a horny mothertruck and Ironhide is none too happy about Sam's dog claiming his foot as his territory, and that's all they do. And then there's Jazz...

 

Jazz's death (spoilers!)

"Where'd that come from?" "Who cares, I'm more worried about where it's goin'!"

Jazz appears with the other Autobots, says a few insignificant lines ("s'up bitches!"), attacks a few Decepticons and then gets ripped apart by Megatron, and you don't even realise he's dead until Ratchet pops up later to say that he's dead, which is the most that character does in the movie. I have to make an inevitable comparison to the original movie and say that even when I had no idea what any character was like or their back story, I felt sorry for the characters, particularly Ironhide, since with his four lines of dialogue he demonstrates that he wants to kick ass, and then dies before he can, and his last ditch attempt to stop them is met with a fusion cannon through the head. Jazz, however, just spouts lingo and does handstands. Maybe if he talked like a character straight out of Airplane! he'd be tolerable.

 

The Decepticons

Actually define themselves, slightly! Well, more so than the Autobots. Frenzy is a robot Gremlin, Scorponok gets a really good fight scene, Megatron turns into an awesome space cruiser and Barricade is an evil police car! The rest of them, however, are just shoehorned into the last fight and get axed really quickly, and thanks to the obligatory crappy camera in today's films, they seem to die quicker than anyone in the original film. Starscream gets one line of dialogue and a fight with some jets to himself, which is merely a tease for his supposed larger presence in the supposed sequel, but it would've been nice to see him more just to verify that this was actually Starscream we were seeing and not Megatron. The two are really similar now, see, except for Starscream being a fatty.

 

The humans

Aren't actually all that bad! Everyone complains about how they hog the screen time from the Transformers, which is true, but considering the Autobots are just plain obnoxious and the Decepticons don't really do anything, I'm almost glad. They're shallow and they're silly and their stupid antics are amusing. I'd actually have to say that I preferred watching them talk about Sam's masturbating happy time than the blurry fight scenes.

 

Ultimately, despite my negativities, I was happy I saw it and feel that some of the more displeased viewers should have had a more enquiring mind before seeing it. Come on, it's a Michael Bay film. Ain't no Oscar winner.

And for the love of God, if they make a sequel, Grimlock should be in it. How could it fail?


 

26/July/2007

So apparently one can order food at a sports stadium via the Nintendo DS with a downloadable application there. That requires one to pay a fee to download it. And also more for the food. Invention of the century, says gaming forums!

In my view, this only seems to elevate the common viewpoint that modern gamers are fatties, and doesn't help in reducing DS game prices from going down. The two matters have nothing to do with each other, but I need something to blame for everything being 25 and probably crap, meaning I can never buy anything for full price without feeling like an ass. >:U


 

20/July/2007

I just realised every entry I've made this month has had an image! Sounds like the right time to break tradition.

I watched Howl's Moving Castle, and as usual with Studio Ghibli films, the visuals were pretty phantasmagoria, and it's nice to see something that walks in anime, as having everything fly gets a bit monotonous after a while, y'know. Flying ships? Ain't seen that before! But yeah, giving a castle little legs is awesome. Wasn't quite so intrigued on the story, as it was good and well up until the end where everything is just miraculously solved in two minutes after peering into the past, the "idiotic war" just been called off on a whim. And when it looks like there may actually be a sacrifice involved, whoops, looks like Billy Crystal didn't want to leave his buddies behind! Steamboy wasn't exactly the epitome of storytelling, but it at least ended at a decent pace rather than everyone suddenly smiling rainbows out of their asses in no more than five minutes.

And on the subject of anime, I recently reminded myself of how it's not all that bad by watching the first Slayers Excellent OVA, which almost got me interested in buying the series if it weren't for the fact that the series itself is hideously complicated to buy. A "complete collection" surely can't be only 300 minutes long! And there's like a million frigging series and OVAs and movies and crap! How can you call that complete!?

And that's my day.


 

17/July/2007

With the free time I could work on an artistic masterpiece or get out and about or get around to that plan of reworking MS:MIA again or even do something interesting enough to blog about...

And instead I'm making little sprites of Transformers.

I'm a terrible person. =(


 

11/July/2007

So I had a crazy idea fly through my head a couple of days ago.

"It'd be interesting to be demented."

Then I realised, who's to say I'm not demented?

Food for thought.


 

07/July/2007

Last year I drew Ringo Starr, and that's really about the only person born on that day I really know of. So I scanned Wikipedia for cool names.

http://tenchionline.com/ragey/CARICATUREErikZabel.gif

Erik Zabel is this year's caricature, driving a bike OF THE FUTURE, which has removed the wheels (except for a tiny landing gear one) in favour of A ROCKET BOOSTER powered by HOW WARM YOUR BOTTOM IS.

I admit I got carried away with how crazy cycling uniforms look, though the maniacal expression was artistic license.

It's also my birthday too, but Erik Zabel, everybody! He confessed about his drug usage, therefore making him a better man than any other cycling drug user ever! He has an ass of hot temperature!

 

And I swear there'll be actual content soon that isn't sprites or a Stupid Stuff.